Bias in Parenting: Catching the Heavenly View – Tip of the Week #9

Lisa Cherry —  December 13, 2010

Recently someone sincerely complimented the thoughtful and responsible behavior of one of my children. Hearing this glowing commendation, I might have thought my child had been nominated for sainthood. Was that a halo I saw around his head?

But I wasn’t buying it.  That same day, I had determined to sit that same child down for a major correction of irresponsible behavior. What was going on here? At first I thought the non-parent’s perspective was skewed. It was based on grossly incomplete data.

But my heart wasn’t sure. Perhaps my perspective was also off as a result of the significant force of what I call parental bias.

I usually think of little league fields and kiddie beauty pageants as the ultimate breeding grounds for sickening displays of parental bias. But perhaps bias is blinding our parental eyes more frequently than we want to admit.

On any given day, I could focus completely on my child’s problems and be blinded to his successes. Or I could be so enthralled with my child’s giftings and accomplishments that I ignore the areas for which she needs prayer, correction or guidance.

My view can be blinded to the negative or the positive. When this happens, my leadership could take a turn for my child’s the harm. The prudent parent, I have decided, must always ask God for His help and His view.

Lord, would You protect my home by helping me to catch Your heavenly view of every parenting decision I need to make? Help me to view my family members as You would. Still flawed and needing Your discipleship, yet perfectly beautiful and receiving Your grace. Thank you Lord.

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