Predator Calling Cards, Part 2: What is a Predator Anyway?

Lisa Cherry —  July 19, 2012

calling card 1022838_business_cardMy last post generated some controversial discussions! Which I think can be very healthy for all us Frontline Moms.

Today, I want to dig deeper into the concepts behind the use of my title of last post, Predator Calling Cards.

When our daughter was sexually abused by a man that we could legally identify as a predator/abuser, I came face to face with the world of sexual perversion. Before the attack on her life, I was largely ignorant of the difficult-to-understand concept called "grooming."

Grooming is a legal and psychological term for the process that a perpetrator uses on his or her victim. Grooming is deeply deceptive and often subliminal at its onset.

The predator needs a way into victim’s world.  So with words, a look, or a seemingly innocent touch, he slips in bits of information that, like a calling card, create a connection, a memory, a sense of legitimacy and familiarity.

In other words, the predator gains the trust of the victim and then very slowly moves the boundary of the relationship toward the sexual. S-l-o-w-l-y the desensitizing confuses the victim until he or she yields power and voluntarily performs acts that would normally be labeled as out of bounds. Kalyn still looks back in horror as to how she started in one spot and ended up in another participating in things that violated her own heart and soul.

It was more than "logic" that failed her. She was up against a spiritual force of darkness that was very real and powerful.

Moms, what happens in the world of sexual predators in the natural flesh is happening in the spiritual realm around us also. Our kids—and we—are being pulled into sexual practices and beliefs that are not pleasing to the Lord and actually dangerous to our lives and futures. And just like all tactics of warfare, the devil is using deception and "grooming" to do it!

Homosexuality is dangerous.

Now that is not a popular statement, but it is the Biblical view. Our loving God warned us of its dangerous attraction numerous times in His word.

It is not an identity.

It is not a birth anomaly.

Am I saying that every person who claims an identification as a homosexual or struggles with the issues of gender confusion is poised to attack children?  Of course not!

But the lifestyle of homosexuality is dangerous, and we must not allow ourselves or our children to be "groomed" into thinking otherwise by well-intentioned people who do not know the scriptural view and have rested on faulty science.

Because I’m saying this, does that mean that I hate homosexuals? No, it doesn’t, and I don’t.  And God doesn’t hate them either. But we are being groomed to agree with the notion that saying that homosexuality is wrong is hateful. 

I have friends and acquaintances that have struggled with this issue of same sex attraction. My posture has been and always has been one of love. They are precious people needing the healing and deliverance of the Lord.

Real agape love is always truthful.  See 1 Corinthians 13:6

Real love preserves people from danger.  No matter what the cost.

Here is another illustration. If you go to college to study money systems, you will study both Micro-economics and Macro-economics. Micro-economics is the study of personal economics and how our personal household choices impact others economically for better or worse. Macro economics is focused on the things that impact nations, things such as supply and demand, federal reserve interest rates, government spending and borrowing. Both are important to understand because they are intimately interrelated.

In the world today we have Micro-predators (actual persons) and Macro-predators (global thoughts and forces). They are very much inter-related. Think about it. A child "macro-groomed" may more easily be "micro-groomed."

My Country Living magazine experience was aimed at moving my boundaries and the boundaries of my children. Was it actively connived in a board room to have that effect? I don't know. At one time I am sure it was strategized. Someone had to do the economic weighing of the risk to alienate certain customers. All businesses do this all the time.  But if my commenter who said she had seen multiple articles featuring homosexuals in Country Living is correct (and I am sure she is would know), then no one needs a meeting anymore. The remaining subscribers have all just yielded and acquiesced.

I see evidence of a generation of young people who have been successfully groomed. What my grandmother's generation knew was clearly un-biblical and un-Godly, today's generation thinks is normal—even "biblical" homosexual behavior. Many would say "God made them to be this way." So, of course, they are now cooperating with the grooming. And 11%* of our teen girls report homosexual girlfriend relationships. That is what I call Macro-predator success.

Next time let's look at the word "judgment."

*There’s more on this and other interesting discussions on protecting our kids in my book Unmask the Predators: The Battle to Protect Your Child

 By Lisa Cherry, Author of Unmask the Predators: The Battle to Protect Your Child

Image courtesy of  Brian Lary

Read part 1 here.

  • A frontline dad

    You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Matt 5:13-16

    Just as “macro predators” groom children to accept their sexual immorality (homosexuality, pornography, pre-marital sex…) so there is a conscious effort to cause the church to cease to be salt and light, and be walled off into ‘church life” so as to not be redemptively engaging the culture.

    We’re being groomed to be silent, to be intimidated. This is nothing new. That which has been is that which will be, and that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun. Ecc 1:8-10

    In the early/mid 30’s, Hitler somehow convinced most of the church in Germany to let he and the Nazis take care of the country and to just be concerned about “church.”

    The Obama administration and elitists around the world are trying to replace “freedom of religion” with “freedom of worship.” Why? Freedom of worship pertains to the freedom to engage in church services, Sunday school, and not expressions of faith and truth outside church boundaries. And it is a minimal freedom. In Canada, Norway, Denmark and even California, pastors can be arrested for preaching the truth about homosexuality even from the pulpit Sunday morning.

    There is an ongoing effort in silencing Christians regarding homosexuality, abortion, Islam…and we’re constantly being labeled as intolerant, hateful. Speaking the truth in love is not “hate speech,” it’s tough love.

    Think about the example of child absent-mindedly crossing the street with traffic coming on. To ignore the peril and say nothing would be a terrible choice. To politely call out “you better get out of the street, a car is coming” might be good, but what if the child still did not heed the warning? Yelling or even physically intervening would be the loving thing to do.

    Homosexuals have on average a 20 year shorter life span, a high incidence of multiple STDs and MRSA. Considering that homosexuals average 24 sex partners a year, and even those in “committed” relationships average 2-3 outside sexual relationships, we can see that the homosexual lifestyle is profoundly unsatisfying.

    It should come as no surprise then that homosexuals have much higher suicide rates and 3 times the rate of driving while impaired. Prov 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.

    So what should we do to redemptively intervene? Engage in strident, fruitless acts like those who demonstrate at military funerals? Absolutely not! Pro 24:11 “Deliver those who are being taken away to death, And those who are staggering to slaughter, O hold them back.”

    Educate the Church and especially our youth regarding both Biblical truth and the actual facts about homosexuality. Then engage the culture – direct witnessing, letters to the editor, handing out literature outside public schools on the day homosexual activists have turned into a day of indoctrination are a few of the ways.

    Equip our children to speak into their peers at school. For example, in a parallel issue, our pastor when we lived in Louisville spoke to our church on multiple occasions regarding abortion. That equipped the youth to speak into their friends lives outside the church. In multiple cases, pregnant teens chose life instead because of what the teens from our church shared.

    One of my friends at that church was an ex-homosexual who had repented and become a Christian, was set free from that stronghold, married and was a father to three children. Salt is a preservative and our world desperately needs us.

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