I am writing this story at 2 am. My adrenalin level is so high right now I figure I may as well. I have just come through one of the craziest experiences of my life.
This week we have seen one of those annoying invasions of ants. I thought these ants were of the garden variety type that occasionally got wind of sweet crumbs in the kitchen. That is until we found them marching in droves over our floors and dressers. How ever did they all get attracted to our place?
Doug responded to the female squeamish cries around here with an extra generous application of those sticky globs of goo that are designed to poison the whole colony. But after a few days of watching them drink the lethal liquid, we were still under attack.
I admit my tone was not very nice when I reported to him my concern yesterday morning with discovering some of those ants had found their way to the top of my bed comforter. But I knew he was doing the best he could.
So before I went to bed, I was carefully inspecting my bed covers. With none found on my pillow, I lay my head down in reasonable confidence.
But at 1:45 am today, I was awakened from a deep sleep. Something was itching my right ear. I remember reaching up to give it a good itch when my continual itch brought me gradually out of slumber. In fact, no amount of ear scratching was doing me any good.
And that’s when it hit me. What if one of those tiny ants had crawled down my ear canal? Just the thought of it caused me to spring out of bed when suddenly I made a horrifying discovery. Something was now crinkling in my ear. It sounded like an elephant chewing. I was sure of it…something was alive in there!
My heart rate sped into overdrive as I imagined my entry to the ER trying to explain how I had an ant in my ear. Yeah, right lady, they would say with a wink.
So I hopped around a little more flinging my head around in hopes “he” would come out. The thought of paranoia even crossed my own mind when I decided to head to the bathroom sink to take a look. I am not sure what I thought that would do for me. But when I tipped my head toward the mirror…..the ant fell out on the sink! I kid you not! I WAS right! The itching and the noise stopped suddenly.
So here I am sitting straight up on my bed. What do I do now? Should I try to sleep again? Or wake up Doug and tell him to call the exterminator!
PS written the next morning…
Over 31 years of experience kept me from getting rough with Doug at 2 am. So I chose a third option. Ear plugs. And I am happy to report that by morning Doug’s gooey poison appeared to be working.