Archives For January 2013

group bathBy Lisa Cherry

We were having a family birthday party for 17-year-old Hannah the other night when four cell phones in the room suddenly started alarming: Tornado warning! Seek shelter now!

After my son and his family lost their home in a bad storm a few years ago, those kinds of alarms are taken seriously at our house. So everyone immediately hopped up to head to the basement. We know our routine well.

We were a jovial birthday group. Not really all that concerned that danger would strike, but not willing to take the chance. And certainly ready to dive for cover.

I sat in the basement around children looking for toys to play with and teenagers laughing when another alarm sounded. This time I said, "Okay guys, we better grab our pillows and go to the bathtub."

Now I have to confess…my version of the time to head to the bathtub and Doug's don't always exactly match. So there was a slight hesitation in the room, as Doug was hearing a different report from a different weathercast.

All except for our dinner guest, a friend of Luke's who had come for dinner. When I said head to the bathtub, he took me very seriously. In all the commotion, I looked up about five minutes later and our guest was nowhere to be found. He was sitting in the bathroom.

Well, it was an interesting night. More weather cells moved through and my family was in and out of that tub.

No harm done. No serious problems. So of course I was very grateful..... And the grandkids thought it was a new game.

Gratefully linked to  Just for Fun Fridays

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Now it's time for this week’s Family Fun Friday Link-Up!  It’s our tradition here at Frontline Moms.

Since we spend so much of the week Unmasking and frontlining and aiming for the remnant, we need a little dose of Family Fun come Friday!

My co-host is my daughter Tara at Mommy Head Adventures.

So please link up your Family Fun blog post for all of us to see. Just make sure it’s family friendly, and fun.  Then check back to see what fun other families have posted about.

What kind of fun?

  • Fun crafts
  • Fun kid recipes
  • Fun family outings
  • Fun mom games, or
  • Funny stories about your family

We hope you will share our fun button which you can find on the sidebar.


Lisa with six sonsBy Lisa Cherry

I shudder at the thought of my six sons learning their views on women from hanging out in the sports locker room.......or from watching the latest box office smash......or from the posters in the Victoria's Secret store at the mall.

Years ago I figured that somewhere out there, the six moms of their future wives were hoping my boys would learn to set their sights on something better than the cheap counterfeits of this world!

The training of our sons must go deeper than a quick piece of advice while we hand them the car keys and tell them what time to be in. What they learn from us can either speak volumes, or be a dull whisper that barely catches their attention.

Most of our influence comes when we least expect it. I intentionally look for opportunities to impart these ten things to my boys about girls....

1. God has one for you if you are called to be married.  She will be your helpmeet—well fitting, completing and suitable. Together you will do great exploits in the Kingdom of God.

2.  Discovering her will be an adventure… a sometimes nerve-racking, knuckle-biting drama! Females have a flair for the dramatic. Let the process of finding her mature your relationship with the Lord. Learn to seek Him first so you can hear His voice.

3. On the way to discovering her, you will meet many counterfeits.  How you handle those not-the-one-for-you girls will likely determine your future.

4. Some of those counterfeits are sent by the devil to distract you or to destroy your calling and destiny. You will need the power of the Holy Spirit and the wisdom of your parents and mentors to avoid the enemy's schemes. Remember your brother Samson.

5. Treat every girl you meet the same way you want the guys to treat your future wife. ←tweet  Paul gave the young man Timothy great advice when he said to “treat…younger women as sisters.” 1 Timothy 5:2

6. You can rule over your own emotions and hormones!  You are a man of God, not an animal. Sexual purity before marriage is not easy, but it is achievable through the leadership of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit.  The self control muscle you learn early in life will be the same self control needed to keep your marriage strong.

7.  Set your heart to radically pursue God—not girls—in your teen years.  Passion can be recklessly wasted never to return again. One day, while you are running toward God's plan for your life, you will look over and discover the one running along side you who will be your life partner.

8. Turn your eyes away from immorality. Learn to guard your heart. You want to find a one-man woman so you must be the one-woman man now.

9. Prepare your fields now. Learn to be an excellent provider. After that you can prepare your house.  A woman needs a man who is ready to lead their home with excellence.

10. Listen to the team God has placed on your side
. Your dad and mom are your best coaches. Believe God will use them, as well as the other mentors in your life, to help you make wise plans for your bride. Trust the process. God's timing is always perfect.

How about you? What are you teaching your sons about girls?

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This post is part of my series, Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate? Here are the rest of the posts:

Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate?
Two of Our Kids Found Romance!
Can We Divorce-proof Our Kids? Ten Strategies for Parents
The Word that Makes Us Bristle: Can We Divorce-Proof Our Kids, Part 2
Should Finding a Mate Be Like Buying a Pair of Shoes?
You Can’t Make Me!  Teens, Romance, and Rules
The Top Ten Things I Want My Daughters to Know about Boys

Don’t miss this special sale on our Hot Romance DVD:

It's now only $10.00, which is half price.  Now through February 14 at our store.

Hot romance front

Gratefully linked to  Top Ten Tuesday   Encourage One Another     Works for Me Wednesday     Wholehearted Home Wednesday

The Better Mom      Titus 2sdays     Modest Mondays     Marital Oneness Mondays        Mondays with Countrified Hicks      Welcome Home

Marriage Monday


Red patent heels from back 761050_red_shoes_heels_2By Lisa Cherry

I have teenage girls who love to go shopping.

Mom, I just found the most adorable pair of shoes! I fell in love with them the moment I saw them. I just haaaaaave to get them, mom!

So daughter, do they fit you well?

Well, mom, that is not really the most important thing. They only have a size smaller than I need but that's fiiiiiiiiinnnnnee, mom! I'll just not wear socks.

Honey, blisters are no fun! You are liable to regret that decision. You really need to wait on a better suited pair.

Oh, but mom! These are on sale! And the sale goes off tomorrow. And I really want them.....PLEASE?

If you choose them, you will wear them. This will be your main dress pair and I am not spending money on another.....

So how does this story usually end at your house? What does a mom do? Give in? Figure the daughter has to learn her own lesson? Make her wear them even if they do not fit?

Or should she rescue her daughter's feet even if she had given her daughter the power to choose?

Now take this common little scenario and raise the stakes. What if the daughter, instead of buying shoes, was shopping for her future spouse?

Our kids today are being raised in a culture where our "romantic practices" are too similar to shoe buying:

Try on the one that impulsively catches your eye
Wear it around to see how it feels
Buy it if it "seems" to fit good enough and look the way we want
Take it home and use it for a season
Store it in the closet or discard when "done"
Go back to the shoe store and start over with a new pair.

 
Here is the huge difference in our analogy. People have minds and souls that get damaged, while shoes do not! When we "try on" people, we often use them for our own pleasure and comfort.

Let's consider these words.....

Do nothing out of selfish ambition and vain conceit, but in humility consider the interest of others better than yourselves.  Philippians 2:3

Love....is not self seeking.   1 Corinthians 13: 5

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in her heart.          Matthew 5: 28

Our dating/romantic techniques should not defraud our neighbor, steal from their future marriage, or cause either party to lust.  A tall order, isn't it?

Frontline families who are building a spiritual ark to save their family from the flood of dissipation in this world must be willing to reassess these foundational motivations for relationships.

How can we as believers in Jesus demonstrate our love for our neighbor

as we find God's choice for a spouse? I would love to hear your ideas!

Image courtesy of Leandro Gomes Moreira

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Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate? Here are the rest of the posts in this series:

Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate?
Two of Our Kids Found Romance!
Can We Divorce-proof Our Kids? Ten Strategies for Parents
The Word that Makes Us Bristle: Can We Divorce-Proof Our Kids, Part 2
Ten Things I Teach My Sons about Girls
You Can't Make Me! Teens, Romance, and Rules
The Top Ten Things I Want My Daughters to Know about Boys

 

Don’t miss this special sale on our Hot Romance DVD:

It's now only $10.00, which is half price.  Now through February 14 at our store.

Hot romance front

 

Gratefully linked to Modest Mondays    Marital Oneness Mondays     Mama Moments Mondays    Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday   The Better Mom    Welcome Home    Titus 2 Tuesdays    True Stories   Titus 2sdays

Late night Dad time Doug JosiahBy Lisa Cherry

This is the scene I discovered when I walked into my bedroom the other night.

Josiah and Doug’s late-night snuggling time had resulted in sleeptime.  My heart melted to see them together in open-mouthed slumber.

At the same time my mind flashed back to others who have sat on this Daddy's lap. Now their grown up bodies would not fit well on the rocker. And yet their need for late-night Dad time has not really disappeared.

Sure the format of their time together has changed.  Goofy YouTube clips of Tim Hawkins, nachos that mess up my kitchen, and outlandish games of cards.

The investment of parenting… I'm grateful that my husband still pays his dues.

And the rewards? Grown children who want to hang out and visit. Grandbabies who snuggle up close.

And teenagers who still somehow seem to make it home for Friday night family movie time.

Are the late-night sacrifices worth it?  Absolutely. 100%.

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Gratefully linked to    Faith Filled Friday     Women With Purpose    Just for Fun Fridays  Consider the Lilies     Thriving Thursday     New Equus      Gratituesday      Legacy Leaver

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sour face 1208847_girl_with_a_sour_faceBy Lisa Cherry

I am committed over the next few weeks to tackling this tough issue of leading our children successfully toward healthy marriage.

To even broach this topic among followers of Jesus is controversial. Why? Because everyone seems to have their own take on the issue!

Christian dating At 14? 15? 16? 17? 18?
Online Christian matchmaking?
Parent-arranged betrothal?
Or the dreaded word…   courtship?

I have been involved in these controversies now through my second generation of child raising. I've watch the trends come and go, I've heard the arguments flare into division and strife, and I've seen the world change into a place we scarcely can recognize.

Meanwhile our God and Father is yearning to rescue our kids from relationship disaster.

Almost 20 years ago we sat in meetings when issues of purity, holiness, and godliness were explored as they related to dating. We knew we had a problem back then. Our statistics of success in marriage were horrible.

So we talked about a new plan. That's when I remember the trend toward courtship beginning.  I actually believe we were asking some of the right questions back then.

How do we promote sexual purity that leads to fidelity and marriage? How do we promote longevity of relationships rather than break up of relationships? How do we keep our kids from hurting each other in ways that defraud and damage hearts, leaving a sea of regret?  In other words, how do we do this thing like Jesus would have us do it?!

Courtship? Delaying relationships until the potential marriage partners are really ready for marriage. Involving the parents in the selection and preparation process. Avoiding some of the dangerous behaviors that lead to falling into sexual sin. Helping relationships to be founded upon agape love rather than lust... All these are great ideas!

But as is typical of us in the body of Christ, when we get a great idea we sometimes drive it over to a place of rules and laws. So what resulted was this: Groups of Christians came up with their own list of "courtship procedures" that then ostracized other groups of Christians who came up with their own list of "courtship procedures." Unrealistic ideas clamped down on the natural human process of romance and began to choke our young courtship participants.
And so we threw up our hands and said "this doesn't work!" But now, what do we do? Kiss Dating Hello or Kiss Dating Goodbye?

Am I writing to you today? Are you confused and even angered by these issues? I don't believe that you are alone.

So here's what I suggest we all do:  Let’s resubmit this issue to the Lord. Come out of our preconceived notions. And then have the courage to rebuild on a foundation that we believe will be right for us, our children, and the church of Jesus Christ.

To do this will require grace and forgiveness. Grace from our Heavenly Father to receive His plan in this very difficult age. And forgiveness for our brothers and sisters in Christ when we have tossed these issues around as arrows at each others’ hearts.

Am I going to spend the next month trying to convince you that "courtship" is the only godly way to find a mate? No, I am not. But I am going to work to convince you to explore these issues honestly and truthfully before your God. And then to have the courage to get a plan.

I'm not even sure at the end of our exploration time whether we will all want to have the exact same plan. I'm not even sure that is possible. Our families must have the freedom to pursue this personal issue their own personal way. But can we agree on this....

We are going to aim our families for the Kingdom of God best plan!

Hey, maybe I should be a new trend setter! Maybe I should even come up with a new word like dourtship or cating or heavenmatching... But within just a short time we would all be arguing over that word too!!!!  So, I think I'll pass on that and just work on the ideas themselves...  more later...

Image courtesy of Derek Kimball

This post is part of my series Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate? Here are the rest of the posts in this series:

Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate?
Two of Our Kids Found Romance!
Can We Divorce-proof Our Kids? Ten Strategies for Parents
Should Finding a Mate Be Like Buying a Pair of Shoes?
Ten Things I Teach My Sons about Girls
You Can’t Make Me!  Teens, Romance, and Rules
The Top Ten Things I Want My Daughters to Know about Boys

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On SALE now through Feb. 14 at the Frontline Family store:

SLIDER HOT ROMANCE

Gratefully linked to

Wholehearted Home Wednesday

Wisdom Wednesday

Consider the Lilies Homemaking link-up