Ten Things I Teach My Sons about Girls

Lisa Cherry —  January 30, 2013

Lisa with six sonsBy Lisa Cherry

I shudder at the thought of my six sons learning their views on women from hanging out in the sports locker room.......or from watching the latest box office smash......or from the posters in the Victoria's Secret store at the mall.

Years ago I figured that somewhere out there, the six moms of their future wives were hoping my boys would learn to set their sights on something better than the cheap counterfeits of this world!

The training of our sons must go deeper than a quick piece of advice while we hand them the car keys and tell them what time to be in. What they learn from us can either speak volumes, or be a dull whisper that barely catches their attention.

Most of our influence comes when we least expect it. I intentionally look for opportunities to impart these ten things to my boys about girls....

1. God has one for you if you are called to be married.  She will be your helpmeet—well fitting, completing and suitable. Together you will do great exploits in the Kingdom of God.

2.  Discovering her will be an adventure… a sometimes nerve-racking, knuckle-biting drama! Females have a flair for the dramatic. Let the process of finding her mature your relationship with the Lord. Learn to seek Him first so you can hear His voice.

3. On the way to discovering her, you will meet many counterfeits.  How you handle those not-the-one-for-you girls will likely determine your future.

4. Some of those counterfeits are sent by the devil to distract you or to destroy your calling and destiny. You will need the power of the Holy Spirit and the wisdom of your parents and mentors to avoid the enemy's schemes. Remember your brother Samson.

5. Treat every girl you meet the same way you want the guys to treat your future wife. ←tweet  Paul gave the young man Timothy great advice when he said to “treat…younger women as sisters.” 1 Timothy 5:2

6. You can rule over your own emotions and hormones!  You are a man of God, not an animal. Sexual purity before marriage is not easy, but it is achievable through the leadership of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit.  The self control muscle you learn early in life will be the same self control needed to keep your marriage strong.

7.  Set your heart to radically pursue God—not girls—in your teen years.  Passion can be recklessly wasted never to return again. One day, while you are running toward God's plan for your life, you will look over and discover the one running along side you who will be your life partner.

8. Turn your eyes away from immorality. Learn to guard your heart. You want to find a one-man woman so you must be the one-woman man now.

9. Prepare your fields now. Learn to be an excellent provider. After that you can prepare your house.  A woman needs a man who is ready to lead their home with excellence.

10. Listen to the team God has placed on your side
. Your dad and mom are your best coaches. Believe God will use them, as well as the other mentors in your life, to help you make wise plans for your bride. Trust the process. God's timing is always perfect.

How about you? What are you teaching your sons about girls?

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This post is part of my series, Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate? Here are the rest of the posts:

Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate?
Two of Our Kids Found Romance!
Can We Divorce-proof Our Kids? Ten Strategies for Parents
The Word that Makes Us Bristle: Can We Divorce-Proof Our Kids, Part 2
Should Finding a Mate Be Like Buying a Pair of Shoes?
You Can’t Make Me!  Teens, Romance, and Rules
The Top Ten Things I Want My Daughters to Know about Boys

Don’t miss this special sale on our Hot Romance DVD:

It's now only $10.00, which is half price.  Now through February 14 at our store.

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Gratefully linked to  Top Ten Tuesday   Encourage One Another     Works for Me Wednesday     Wholehearted Home Wednesday

The Better Mom      Titus 2sdays     Modest Mondays     Marital Oneness Mondays        Mondays with Countrified Hicks      Welcome Home

Marriage Monday


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  • GailBP

    This is a great list. Your sons are blessed to have you influence them this way.

    • http://www.frontlinefamilies.org/ Lisa Cherry

       Gail,
      Thank you for your kind words, and for visiting Frontline Moms.

  • Countrified Hicks

    What a great post.  It is wonderful what you are doing.  . I would love for you to
    come over to my blog hop and share this there!

    http://countrifiedhicks.blogspot.com/2013/02/mondays-with-countrified-hicks-blog-hop.html

    • http://www.frontlinefamilies.org/ Lisa Cherry

       Thanks!
      I'm in!

  • Britney Carpenter

    Enjoyed this list. I have three daughters and sure pray for husbands for them who would follow this path.

    • http://www.frontlinefamilies.org/ Lisa Cherry

      Britney, I know what you mean. I am hoping lots of moms are raising lots of eligible Christian bachelors! :)

  • Iris From

    These are good points! I had to laugh at the second one. Us girls are dramatic aren't we!? ☺  

  • Elizabeth Ours

    This is a Fabuous post!  I just shared on Facebook and recommended as a MUST READ for all moms of sons!  I will be sharing this list with my sons as well!  Thanks for sharing this wisdom and for linking up with Marriage Monday!!  Now I'm off to Pin this post on my Mothering board!

  • Lynne6

    What a great list.  Your guys will rise up and call you blessed!

    • http://www.frontlinefamilies.org/ Lisa Cherry

      Wow, nothing would be sweeter some day!

  • Jennifer Whiskeyman

    Love the list!  Thanks for sharing. One thing I teach my little guy is to respect the "no" whether it is "no" or "stop."  I think it is important that he understands "no" can be said in many different ways. He has 3 older sisters that he antagonizes enough so he hears many different variations.

    • Jennifer Lynn

      Also I think it's important that guys are taught not to push for physical intimacy that Godly women should to say no to.

  • Rachel Ramey

    I don't have any sons yet (unless this babe-in-the-womb is a boy), and my girls are still pretty young, so we're just getting started on some of these things.  (Some are, obviously, things they're never too young to internalize!)  But one thing my husband always tells the young people in our lives is that although it doesn't feel good to be "lonely," it's better to be lonely than stuck.  He would've hated to be stuck in a relationship with the wrong girl - just to not be alone - when I came along.  (And my husband was 30 when we married, so he'd been waiting for a while.  All that waiting made a lot more sense when we found each other; I'm ten years younger than he is!  Our culture kind of frowns upon marrying 10-year-olds. 😉 )

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Thompson/1206022947 Karen Thompson

    Great post.  Thanks Lisa

  • worthyoftheprize

    Love this!! Would love for you to start linking up to our {Hope for the Home} linky party every week, where we share ways to make God apart of our everyday lives and homes! http://www.worthyoftheprize.com

  • lorihatcher

    Well said, wise woman! Your sons (and your future daughters-in-loves) are blessed blessed blessed. May they recognize the wisdom you have shared as coming from the Lord. Thanks so much for the encouragement. visiting for the first time from Hungry for God today.

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  • http://heatherhaupt.com/ Heather H

    As a mom of 3 boys and having no brothers, I found this particularly encouraging. Thanks for giving me food for thought as we raise this boys. They already have a desire to have a family one day and know that a wife is a prereq for that. I look forward to inspiring and equipping them to live as strong men of God and navigate this path...

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