When it comes to even thinking about any of my daughters in another man’s arms it sends shivers down my spine. How could there be a man in the whole earth worthy to be the mate of any of my four daughters, my mind queries. Surely only “Jesus Jr.” could possibly fill the bill!
Somehow, by God’s grace, my oldest daughter, Kalyn, did find an amazing man whom she married 2 ½ years ago. I must say that I put him “through the ringer” before I released my daughter to his care!
A father’s standard IS high. It should be. Because it is such a hugely important decision in a young lady’s life (husband pickin’ that is), a dad really must begin to communicate with his daughters early about men.
After Lisa blogged last week on Ten Things I Teach My Sons about Girls, she asked me to post my thoughts on teaching our daughters. So… here comes my list!
The Top Ten Things
I Want my Daughters to Know about Boys
1. ONE! There is one specially picked man out there that God has designed for you. He will be amazingly prepared for you and together you will complete the call of God on your lives! Preparing yourself to be ready for him should be a top priority in this season of your life. You will find him not by trial and error, but by prayer, waiting, and listening.
2. NONE! No man will be able to fill your greatest longings. Continue to find your life in Christ before looking for your delight in a man. Your best tool in finding God’s mate is seeking God’s face. As you draw nearer to Him, you will be able to recognize who to allow near and who to push away.
3. MANY! Many boys will be drawn toward you. They have multiple methods to try to capture your interest. Their motives are very often driven by the flesh and not the spirit. So learn to guard your heart and not be wooed by their actions toward you.
4. GOD! God has made man in His image. He put some of His characteristics in men and some (different ones) in women. Understanding the differences will give you a great head start for future relationships.
5. HEART! Though you may be tempted to look at the outside, make sure that you focus on what is inside the heart of a young man. Listen carefully to the words that he says for “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” And…watch how he acts, for “you can tell a tree by its fruit.”
6. WILD! Boys are wild at heart. They like to take risks, do anything possible for a thrill, win at all costs, go fast, run hard and impress the girls! Enjoy watching their crazy ways but be cautious of riding in their cars, jumping from their cliffs, getting involved in their “dares” and going with their gangs.
7. LIKEMINDED! Since you were a very young child, our focus as well as yours has been to develop your life into a surrendered servant of the Lord. Develop a passion to find a young man with a heart and with a family that has a similar vision.
8. LEARN! Study the boys and men that you know well: Your Dad, your brothers, your grandfathers, and your family mentors. Honor the traits you see in them and look carefully for those same traits in the boys or men you associate with.
9. SOBER! Boys are looking for a “sign.” Be sober and sensitive about how you dress and how you talk. If you are not cautious you can send a wrong message and make them think you are “interested” when you are not. Avoid the temptation to “tease” them with flirtatious actions. Once they sense an open door it is often difficult to get them back out.
10. CONTENT! Do not rush your young life into adulthood. Be content. You will never be in this season again. Enjoy it while you are here and gain what you need for the next season.
Doug Cherry is co-founder of Frontline Family Ministries and POTTS with his wife of almost 32 years Lisa Cherry. He’s the author of STICK! Making the Handoff to the Next Generation. Doug is also the pastor of Victory Dream Center and a financial planner. Contact Doug at frontlinefamilies.org.
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This post is part of the series Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate? Here are the rest of the posts in this series:
Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate?
Two of Our Kids Found Romance!
Can We Divorce-proof Our Kids? Ten Strategies for Parents
The Word that Makes Us Bristle: Can We Divorce-Proof Our Kids, Part 2
Should Finding a Mate Be Like Buying a Pair of Shoes?
Ten Things I Teach My Sons about Girls
You Can’t Make Me! Teens, Romance, and Rules
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