The Top Ten Things I Want my Daughters to Know about Boys

admin —  February 10, 2013 — 17 Comments

Doug and four daughtersGuest post by Doug Cherry

When it comes to even thinking about any of my daughters in another man’s arms it sends shivers down my spine. How could there be a man in the whole earth worthy to be the mate of any of my four daughters, my mind queries. Surely only “Jesus Jr.” could possibly fill the bill!

Somehow, by God’s grace, my oldest daughter, Kalyn, did find an amazing man whom she married 2 ½ years ago.  I must say that I put him “through the ringer” before I released my daughter to his care!

A father’s standard IS high.   It should be.   Because it is such a hugely important decision in a young lady’s life (husband pickin’ that is), a dad really must begin to communicate with his daughters early about men. 

After Lisa blogged last week on Ten Things I Teach My Sons about Girls, she asked me to post my thoughts on teaching our daughters.  So… here comes my list! 

 

The Top Ten Things

I Want my Daughters to Know about Boys

1. ONE!  There is one specially picked man out there that God has designed for you. He will be amazingly prepared for you and together you will complete the call of God on your lives! Preparing yourself to be ready for him should be a top priority in this season of your life.  You will find him not by trial and error, but by prayer, waiting, and listening.

2. NONE! No man will be able to fill your greatest longings.  Continue to find your life in Christ before looking for your delight in a man.  Your best tool in finding God’s mate is seeking God’s faceAs you draw nearer to Him, you will be able to recognize who to allow near and who to push away.

3. MANY! Many boys will be drawn toward you.  They have multiple methods to try to capture your interest.  Their motives are very often driven by the flesh and not the spirit.  So learn to guard your heart and not be wooed by their actions toward you.

4. GOD! God has made man in His image.  He put some of His characteristics in men and some (different ones) in women.  Understanding the differences will give you a great head start for future relationships.

5. HEART! Though you may be tempted to look at the outside, make sure that you focus on what is inside the heart of a young man.  Listen carefully to the words that he says for “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”  And…watch how he acts, for “you can tell a tree by its fruit.”

6.  WILD! Boys are wild at heart.  They like to take risks, do anything possible for a thrill, win at all costs, go fast, run hard and impress the girls!  Enjoy watching their crazy ways but be cautious of riding in their cars, jumping from their cliffs, getting involved in their “dares” and going with their gangs.

7. LIKEMINDED! Since you were a very young child, our focus as well as yours has been to develop your life into a surrendered servant of the Lord.  Develop a passion to find a young man with a heart and with a family that has a similar vision.

8. LEARN! Study the boys and men that you know well: Your Dad, your brothers, your grandfathers, and your family mentors.  Honor the traits you see in them and look carefully for those same traits in the boys or men you associate with.

9. SOBER! Boys are looking for a “sign.” Be sober and sensitive about how you dress and how you talk.  If you are not cautious you can send a wrong message and make them think you are “interested” when you are not.  Avoid the temptation to “tease” them with flirtatious actions.  Once they sense an open door it is often difficult to get them back out.

10. CONTENT! Do not rush your young life into adulthood. Be content. You will never be in this season again.  Enjoy it while you are here and gain what you need for the next season.

Doug Cherry is co-founder of Frontline Family Ministries and POTTS with his wife of almost 32 years Lisa Cherry. He’s the author of STICK! Making the Handoff to the Next Generation.  Doug is also the pastor of Victory Dream Center and a financial planner. Contact Doug at frontlinefamilies.org.

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This post is part of the series Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate? Here are the rest of the posts in this series:

Will Your Kids Find the Right Mate?
Two of Our Kids Found Romance!
Can We Divorce-proof Our Kids? Ten Strategies for Parents
The Word that Makes Us Bristle: Can We Divorce-Proof Our Kids, Part 2
Should Finding a Mate Be Like Buying a Pair of Shoes?
Ten Things I Teach My Sons about Girls
You Can’t Make Me!  Teens, Romance, and Rules

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It's now only $10.00, which is half price.  Now through February 14 at our store.

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Gratefully linked to  Hope for the Home  The Better Mom    Marital Oneness Mondays     Welcome Home    Modest Mondays  Marriage Monday

Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday  Mama Moments Mondays   Soli Deo Gloria    Mondays with Countrified Hicks   True Stories

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  • http://www.facebook.com/SingleLifeRules Jaimie Ramsey

    These are wise words!  I'm thankful that my parents, including my dad, helped me guard my heart and prepare for being in a relationship.  There are some things I wish they would have told me (like the way young men think, and the power that young girls have over their male counterparts, and how to guard the use of that power).  But God is good and the first young man I started dating was kind and respectful of me, wise and caring, and he is now my husband!  Thanks for writing this. :)

    http://www.jaimie-livinginthelight.blogspot.com

    • http://www.frontlinefamilies.org/ Lisa Cherry

       What a blessing to have a good dad! Your three things you wished for are very helpful for others to consider. Thanks, Doug.

    • http://www.frontlinefamilies.org/ Lisa Cherry

      What a blessing to have a good dad! Your three things you wished for are very helpful for others to consider. Thanks.
      Sent from my iPad

  • longforthis

    Love these tips, and will keep them in mind for myself! I appreciate tips #1, #2, and #10. Most girls I know struggle with these, as do I. But with the Lords grace and mercy, we can persevere! 

    Praise the Lord!

    Many Blessings,
    Moriah Jordan Miller

    • http://www.frontlinefamilies.org/ Lisa Cherry

      Moriah, so good to hear you will be using these yourself! The three you mention are pivotal to the other seven. God bless you. -Doug

  • http://sylvrpen.com/ Sylvia R

    This is really good stuff. If I had a young daughter, I'd use it!

  • http://twitter.com/SylviaPhillips8 Sylvia Phillips

    Excellent!

  • David Teran

    Brother Doug - thanks for putting into such beautiful words the very beliefs and thoughts I have for my two young ladies - 15 and 17. I have already forwarded this "gold" to three of my co-workers and will be printing it out for inserting in my own writing in a Valentine's card for each of them - if that's ok with you.

    God bless you, your family and ministry!

  • http://www.onepartjoyonepartcircus.com/ AJ Collins

    Love this especially the last one... I was in such a hurry... now I wish I slowed down a little.

  • Hazel Moon

    Thank you for sharing the Guest Post by Doug Cherry, and I found it so on track and such good advice for young women.  Thank you for sharing at "Tell Me a Story."

  • Jodi Durr

    This is such good content. I have two little girls, so it will be a while before I need to teach this stuff, but I'm sure it will sneak up on me quicker than I thought. All of these things you have presented really inspire what I want to teach my girls about boys too. Jodi   www.meaningfulmama.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Thompson/1206022947 Karen Thompson

    Thanks for the post Doug.  I thank the Lord for great dads like you...and like my own hubby.  Keep the great info coming.

  • http://www.facebook.com/nathan.cherry.98 Nathan Cherry

    Very inspiring... Thank you for sharing from your heart in such a vulnerable way...

  • http://www.facebook.com/nathan.cherry.98 Nathan Cherry

    Thanks for sharing in such a vulnerable passionate way...very powerful

  • worthyoftheprize

    Love this! Would love for you to start linking up to our {Hope for the Home} linky party every week, where we share ways to make God apart of our everyday lives and homes! http://www.worthyoftheprize.com

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