Our Baby Died: Reflections and Needs from this Grandma’s Heart

Lisa Cherry —  February 13, 2013

By Lisa Cherry

Yesterday I got one of those calls that all of us dread to receive. Tragic news that cut me off at the knees and took my breath away.

Our daughter, Kalyn, was at her routine 16 week prenatal visit with her husband, Adam. No heartbeat was found in their precious second born child.

My immediate wailing response shocked my two children who were within earshot of my phone. The air hung around me thick and heavy as I grabbed my coat and headed for the door.

Nasty, horrible questions began swirling through my head like unwelcome intruders. They barged in as through a cordoned off barricade.

“Why, God, why? And why could You not let me be the one and not my precious daughter?” seemed to scream in my ear as I attempted to maneuver my car down the driveway.

I instinctively knew my enemy's voice. Taunting and teasing me toward a dead end road of torment…when I sensed my Father's redirection….Run to Me, Lisa, run. I will hold your bleeding heart.

Our family is walking through a valley of grief this week that we have never walked through before. Pre-born life ended. A child.  Not tissue. With fingers and toes and a beating heart.

I am so glad I was privileged to see his or her tiny form flitter around that ultrasound screen just a few weeks ago. I thought it at the time to be routine and somehow common. But now as I anticipate our only meeting in a section of the maternity ward no one ever wants to visit, I see once again how fragile and miraculous life is. For today I choose to focus on the promise. Eternity. Heavenly presence. Divine comfort. Reunited hope.

It is in these raw moments of life when we have no answers that our praise and our thanks surely holds higher value.

God, comfort and strengthen our hearts. My precious daughter and son-in-law. My family and my friends. For sometimes in this journey of parenting the weight is surely too much for us to bear. Lift us up, Lord, on wings like eagles. And we thank You and praise You for Your mercy and Your love.

This is all for me this week. I had great plans for other posts and drawings and giveaways.... but that will all wait until next week. After we walk through our difficult journey together.

Perhaps you are walking through a difficult path in your home right now, too. If so, we would count it an honor to pray for your family as we ask you to pray for ours. Contact us here or through frontlinefamilies.org

  • Natosha Hiltibran

    I'm so very sorry for your families loss. I found out I was pregnant this past week but within three days it was over, I was very early so I know its not the same but I still am grieving over this. The thing I keep repeating to myself is its Gods will. Again I'm sorry.

    • http://www.frontlinefamilies.org/ Lisa Cherry

      Natosha, I am so very sorry for your loss also! May God comfort your grieving heart.