Archives For June 2013

scrabble 7366181556_1716db65aeBy Lisa Cherry

Flimsy? Isn't that an odd sounding word? When I read it I seem to think of paper plates for some reason. Especially when they are in the hand of a five year old who is carrying a plate of spaghetti from the kitchen stove to the dining room table! Ok, honestly I think of the floor and his shirt.

Flimsy according to dictionary.com has a couple of meanings.

adjective
1. without material strength or solidity: a flimsy fabric; a flimsy structure.
2. weak; inadequate; not effective or convincing: a flimsy excuse.

What happens when our kids' world works with "flimsy?" When they offer up inadequate, unconvincing excuses and they get what they want? 

Unfortunately the flimsy habit can lead to a flimsy life of dishonesty, irresponsibility, insensitivity, or laziness.

So how do we as parents navigate them away from flimsy and toward a life of strength? Here are the top 10 ways I thought of:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA1.  Develop an ear for flimsy much like a mother develops an eye for a spaghetti-covered paper plate.

2. When a flimsy excuse surfaces, trace the origins of the excuse to its logical consequences with your child. (Ex.: Son, you say you ran out of time. But the fact is that your room is not clean, yet you had time to check your email, cook a pizza, and talk on the phone to three people. This does not make any sense.)

3. Help your child/teen identify the real problem instead of the flimsy excuse version of the problem. (Ex.: Seems to me, son, the problem of your dirty room is not a problem of the amount of time but the prioritization of the time you had available.)

4. Admit your own struggles with the same form of flimsy, when appropriate. (Ex.: Son, this is a problem I face often at the job.)

5. Use the teachable moment to assist them to come out of flimsy by asking this question:  (Ex.: Son, what should you have done differently?)

6. Give them the explanation of the skill they are lacking. (Ex.: Son, have the courage to tackle the dreaded work in life first. It takes courage and self-control, but it always pays in the end.)

7. Express your intolerance for the flimsy. (Ex.: Son, I will not tolerate flimsy, dishonest-with-yourself types of excuses. )

8. Follow up with logical consequence discipline if the behavior persists. (Ex.: Since you did not find cleaning your room a priority when I asked you to, you may now clean not only your room but the kitchen as well.)

9. Celebrate honest admittance of failures. No one will always succeed. Factor in some failure in your kids....but encourage them to humbly and honestly admit their errors.

10. Put this scripture before your family's eyes:
     Psalm 51:6. Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.

Image sources Martinak15 and gotosira

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 Praise report on Nathan's Mayo Clinic Visit

Thank you so much for your prayers for Nathan. He got a good report from the doctor at Mayo! All scary diagnosis threats were refuted!

He had some complications to the recurring strep infection he has suffered with but doctor is expecting his recovery to come forth now after a few adjustments to his treatment plan. We are praising God for His healing mercies.

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Buy One, Get One Free Sale!  Free Shipping!

Throughout the month of June EVERYTHING will be Buy One, Get One Free (BOGO) with FREE shipping to anywhere in the United States!

Yes, everything is on sale!

When you purchase one of anything through Frontline Families we will automatically send you two copies of whatever you ordered.

If you have any questions or need any assistance with our products, please contact us via email or toll free at (800) 213-9899.

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Gratefully linked to: Top Ten Tuesday

Tough Times with Kids

Lisa Cherry —  June 24, 2013 — 1 Comment

Nathan wheelchair (3)By Lisa Cherry

I am in the car today driving to Mayo Clinic up in Minnesota.

Not how I planned this beautiful day in June, but I am grateful to be here.

Our oldest son Nathan has been suffering from a mystery illness since April and it is past time for some answers. The picture of him in the wheelchair at Disney World on our annual family vacation a couple weeks ago needs to be retired into the archives!

Tough times. It seems in this life none of us are exempt from them.

And when they happen to your kids, they are especially difficult.

Even when your son is 28, married and has three young children of his own, the parent heart is still the same. We want the pain to stop!

How we walk through tough seasons depends so much on us though, does it not?

Through this family trial, I have been drawn back once again to the foundations of my relationship with the Lord.

He is here…walking with us, leading us through this valley to the other side.

I can either rest in that and walk without fear, or look at my circumstances—my current Goliath—and fall into torment. I have come to learn that the choice is mine.

What about you today? Are you walking in His place of trust?

The longer I parent my children, the more I realize I cannot bear their pains for them. That can seem like a helpless position until I realize they each do have a great heavenly Dad who can bear their pain! So the best help I can probably ever be to my kids is to demonstrate a life of confident trust.

So here I sit in my car......enjoying the scenery on a road I never really hope to travel again, singing a little song in my heart KNOWING my God has my son's case well in hand.

(But hey, I sure would appreciate your prayers of agreement also!)

Blessings,

Lisa

swimwear vintageBy Lisa Cherry

When I saw Jessica Rey’s video on the evolution of the swim suit, I was stunned.

This is a must see for parents and a great pick for your daughters and sons.

I encourage you, invest the ten minutes. You won't regret it!

And then send us your thoughts via comments!

Image via Wikipedia

 

Buy One, Get One Free Sale!  Free Shipping!

Throughout the month of June EVERYTHING will be Buy One, Get One Free (BOGO) with FREE shipping to anywhere in the United States!

Yes, everything is on sale!

When you purchase one of anything through Frontline Families we will automatically send you two copies of whatever you ordered.

If you have any questions or need any assistance with our products, please contact us via email or toll free at (800) 213-9899.

 

The DoorBy Lisa Cherry

Single moms, this is especially for you.  I heard from Misty Honnold, a frontline mom who is courageously leading her home without the presence of a husband. She leads Mountain of Myrrh, a ministry to single mothers.

Misty knows first hand what divorce does to children, and the risks it opens for them.

I was so blessed by her comments on my post Can We Divorce-Proof Our Kids?   Read on to learn what she does to prepare her children to have faithful, healthy, godly marriages. 

I wanted to share them you and with other single parent families. God bless you all!

I lead a non-profit ministry for single mothers. I have raised four children (the last one is 17) for the last 15 years as a single parent.  This has been something I have been VERY concerned about from day one of finding myself as a single parent.  

Because I understand the 'generational' issues that face my children (both their father and I come from divorced families.)

So, I have done many of the things you have suggested but as a single parent raising children who are now exponentially more likely to have marriages end in divorce, I have had to go the 'extra mile.'

Some additional things I have done:

1.  Let my children discuss openly the pain of divorce and the reality of the scars it leaves, and call them to something higher.

2.  Intentionally placed ourselves with families who have solid marriages and built friendships (I had to take initiative in this because the reality is that MANY families do NOT invite single parent families to their homes and functions.) So as I have opened my home over and over, built solid relationships with COUPLES and FAMILIES my children have been surrounded by examples.

3.  Had my children LOOK around. Who do they see who has a marriage they would like to emulate? What stands out? Dialogue about what their perception of a healthy marriage is.

4.  Tell them all they time as they have grown what a GREAT husband or wife they will make and what a GREAT father or mother they will make.

And I have told my children that if they are ever in the place of being unfaithful, of feeling they have a right to leave a spouse, I will be the FIRST ONE IN THEIR FACE...(jokingly of course)

But so many children who have grown up in single parent families because it is the NORM for them, leave divorce as an option, it's no big deal...

I have wanted my children to understand It is a big deal and it is not an option...So as they enter into marriage they have a real understanding of covenant, what GOD says and how HE feels about covenant.  

Image source: Brad Montgomery

Gratefully linked to: Marriage Monday   Marital Oneness Mondays  Modest Mondays

big mouth 837375_mouthBy Lisa Cherry

Here's one of the best of Lisa's past posts, which has now been updated.  It was first published on April 14, 2012.  -Admin

I have written about the awful problem of parenting mess-ups. Perhaps you are like me and would really like to reduce your goofs!

As I was praying one morning the Lord reminded me through scripture of one of my biggest obstacles to quality parenting: An unrestrained mouth!

I can certainly relate to James' description of the tongue as being tougher for man to tame than the fiercest wild animal!

Seems like when I try to do the job of containing my words on my own, that is when I keep opening mouth and inserting foot!

But the good news for us parents is ...we are not on our own! God can and will give us the power to speak words of life instead of words of death over our kids, if we will take His power His way.

My best suggestion to tapping into His resource? Begin to let His words begin to do their supernatural work over your mouth. God's word is living and active and able to produce results in my life.

I have a scripture confession that I speak over myself every morning, as a prayer of declaration. Here’s the part about my mouth:

You’ve put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to my God. (Ps 40:3)

His praise will always be on my lips. (Ps 34:1)

May my lips overflow with praise. (Ps 119:171)

I will put a muzzle on my mouth, and I will keep my tongue from sin. (Ps 39:1)

I will not let this book of the law depart from my mouth. (Joshua 1:8)

I keep my lips from speaking lies. (Ps 34:13)

I keep a tight rein on my tongue. (James 1:26)

The Lord is my help for no man can tame the tongue. (James 3:8)

I have wisdom, she is my sister and the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Pro 12:18)

I only speak that which is good to edifying. (Eph 4:29)

If you earnestly pray this every day, the truth of His ways will get into you, and you, too, will begin to see changes in your own life. I am certain of this!

The full version of my confession starts on page 197 of my book, UnMask the Predators.

 

Read Part 1 and Part 2 of Cleaning Up After Messy Parenting Moments.

 

Buy One, Get One Free Sale!  Free Shipping!

Throughout the month of June EVERYTHING will be Buy One, Get One Free (BOGO) with FREE shipping to anywhere in the United States!

When you purchase one of the materials through Frontline Families we will automatically send you two copies of whatever you ordered.

If you have any questions or need any assistance with our products, please contact us via email or toll free at (800) 213-9899.