Single Mom to Her Kids: “Divorce is a Big Deal, and it is Not an Option”

Lisa Cherry —  June 17, 2013 — 2 Comments

The DoorBy Lisa Cherry

Single moms, this is especially for you.  I heard from Misty Honnold, a frontline mom who is courageously leading her home without the presence of a husband. She leads Mountain of Myrrh, a ministry to single mothers.

Misty knows first hand what divorce does to children, and the risks it opens for them.

I was so blessed by her comments on my post Can We Divorce-Proof Our Kids?   Read on to learn what she does to prepare her children to have faithful, healthy, godly marriages. 

I wanted to share them you and with other single parent families. God bless you all!

I lead a non-profit ministry for single mothers. I have raised four children (the last one is 17) for the last 15 years as a single parent.  This has been something I have been VERY concerned about from day one of finding myself as a single parent.  

Because I understand the 'generational' issues that face my children (both their father and I come from divorced families.)

So, I have done many of the things you have suggested but as a single parent raising children who are now exponentially more likely to have marriages end in divorce, I have had to go the 'extra mile.'

Some additional things I have done:

1.  Let my children discuss openly the pain of divorce and the reality of the scars it leaves, and call them to something higher.

2.  Intentionally placed ourselves with families who have solid marriages and built friendships (I had to take initiative in this because the reality is that MANY families do NOT invite single parent families to their homes and functions.) So as I have opened my home over and over, built solid relationships with COUPLES and FAMILIES my children have been surrounded by examples.

3.  Had my children LOOK around. Who do they see who has a marriage they would like to emulate? What stands out? Dialogue about what their perception of a healthy marriage is.

4.  Tell them all they time as they have grown what a GREAT husband or wife they will make and what a GREAT father or mother they will make.

And I have told my children that if they are ever in the place of being unfaithful, of feeling they have a right to leave a spouse, I will be the FIRST ONE IN THEIR FACE...(jokingly of course)

But so many children who have grown up in single parent families because it is the NORM for them, leave divorce as an option, it's no big deal...

I have wanted my children to understand It is a big deal and it is not an option...So as they enter into marriage they have a real understanding of covenant, what GOD says and how HE feels about covenant.  

Image source: Brad Montgomery

Gratefully linked to: Marriage Monday   Marital Oneness Mondays  Modest Mondays

  • Lynne Davis

    A strategic post. We should all be talking to our kids about this.

    I think I'll invite a single mom and her kids over.

  • busymomof10

    This is great! So much better if our kids can learn from our mistakes, rather than have to repeat them all themselves!!

    I love the strategy of making friends with families that have marriages worth modeling! So often, we all tend to stick together with families that mirror our own. This is an excellent suggestion for all involved!

    thanks for linking up for Marriage Monday!