By Lisa Cherry
If you are not prepared to discover your child's disturbing secret, you could make a devastating error in your response to the problem.
I know, because I did.
When you find out the precious child you love has a secret double life, your world is turned upside down. In fact, it felt to me like I had suddenly stepped onto the movie screen of someone else's story.
I was shocked, horrified, devastated, afraid, hurt, wounded, grieved, alarmed, angry, depressed, ....and did I say shocked?
Obviously, with all those emotions rushing my mind at once, it would be easy to not be on my best parenting game! And that's the problem!
A crisis is a crisis because it comes as an unwelcome, urgent intruder!!
So what can we do as parents to help guard against parental errors when the stakes are so high?
(Honestly, you need to get a copy of my family's book Unmask the Predators if you want my full answer to this question! I feel uneasy about throwing out a few tips without directing you to my best, well thought out answer! But here is a taste....)
Usually, but not always, crisis scenes feel like they demand an immediate response. However, this is often untrue. We so badly want out of our pain and to be rid of the problem that we can be hasty in the heat of the moment. Hit the pause button! Give yourself, your child, and God time to work.
Drop the false expectations. Many Christian parents today are facing unfair tough battles. Know you will immediately feel like the colossal parental failure you always feared you would be. Resist this attack of the enemy over your mind. Errors may be true. But you cannot afford emotionally charged responses that paralyze your ability to hear God's voice.
When our world collapsed with our daughter's revelation of a secret relationship with a 46 year old family friend, we did not do what I am advising you to do next. We should have sent Kalyn to her room for a bit to allow us time to regain our composure and pray for His words of response to our daughter. I would love to go back and replay that scene!
I know my God! He responded to our cries for help. But we spoke too many words before our time of prayer! And those words cost us and our daughter dearly.
See links to more helpful posts on this topic at the end of this post.
Parents, we may face some tense moments before our children launch from our homes. This is a season of great turmoil. But our Heavenly Father is right here with us empowering us to lead our children through this cultural land-mine.
I am praying intentionally for you and your family today. And please know I would count it an honor to hear and agree with your family's specific prayer requests!
A Double Life: 13 Ways to Detect if your Child is Hiding Something
A Double Life, Part 2: The Breakthrough Prayer to Pray Over Your Kids
10 Keys to Confronting Your Child on Tough, Hot-Button Issues
Am I Ready for a Parenting Crisis?
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