Truly Valued: Parent/Child Conversation #5

Lisa Cherry —  August 9, 2014

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Our kids are searching for their identity. Are you helping them form a healthy view of themselves? It's important!

Our children are under intense pressure.  Pressure to perform in school, pressure to live up to our standards, pressure to be “accepted” in their peer group.

They desperately need to sense that they are valued! 

As Christian parents we know that when life throws us a curve with its challenges and troubles, we are still valued by God

But do our children know how much WE value them? ...even when they mess up?

It is vitally important for us to understand…

Our children will gravitate toward those who value them.

Much has been written lately on young people who leave the faith after they leave home.  Often we blame it on the state of our culture when a principle root of the problem is that our children are not valued for who they are! 

What a joy it is to remember the words of Jesus…

Luke 12:24 "Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; and they have no storeroom nor barn; and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds!

So… here is our helpful conversation # 5: "Son/daughter, you are valuable to me and to God!

Here are some helpful tools as you prepare for that conversation:

1. Pray and do a quick assessment. Do our children really know that:

  1. We love and value them not just for what they do, but who they are?
  2. We value the gifts and desires in them even when they do not exactly match up with our expectations for them?
  3. Even when they come up short, we treasure them and believe in them?
  4. When they are struggling with difficult issues, we TRULY care and will invest our time to be there to help them through?
  5. Of all the demands of life and daily duties they are more important to us than these other things?

2. Robert Lewis, the founder of “Men's Fraternity,” effectively communicates that our children are handicapped when they do not sense that they are valued by their parents.  I heard him emphasize that our children need to hear these three things (often) from their father and mother. You can use these phrases to help build your conversation.

  1. I love you
  2. I am proud of you
  3. You are very good at ___________.  (Fill in the blank)

3. Passing on a vibrant spiritual legacy to our children is one of our highest callings.  Being successful at this depends a great deal on keeping a HEART connection with them.  For more insight on this critical issue see my book, "Stick - Making the Handoff to the Next Generation." In this book, I outline 5 very effective tools.

As your children begin school this year, go ahead and stock them up on pencils, paper, laptops, and lunch boxes.  But do not forget that more important than these is that they begin the year with a deep sense in their hearts that both their parents and their God consider them highly valuable.

Image:  Marcos de Madariaga “Amar es encontrar en la felicidad de otro tu propia felicidad.” via Flickr Creative Commons
License: Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic

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