Archives For How To’s

rapelling upsidedown 6151089347_6c9183800cBy Lisa Cherry

Your son forgets his school book for the third time in two weeks. Do you take it to him?

Your daughter failed to put gas in the car and now she will be late to her appointment.  Do you offer to trade cars?

Your 14 year old has trouble talking about conflict issues with his dad.  Do you step in the middle of their communications?

Rescuing. When is it appropriate, and when is it handicapping? I find that I face this question constantly with a house full of teens.

We all know that life throws each of us a large number of curve balls. Mistakes and pressures and errors are simply a part of our daily routines to be managed and hopefully conquered.

So how will I help my teens conquer the world of details and pressures successfully......even as I know they are challenged with foggy adolescent immaturity?

Here are a list of some guiding principles:

1.  I want my children to know I am always "on their side" even if I cannot rescue them from every sticky moment of life.

2. I factor in a lot of immaturity to each of my teens' days. After all, they are not yet adults.

3. And I temper this with a strong expectation that they will mature a little bit more each day. 

4. I strive to give them the coaching they need to pre-think and pre-strategize their day.

5. But I do not do all the thinking for them. I let them carry their own weight.

6. I let them live with the law of natural consequences. For the most part I let the chips fall for what they decide and do.

7. But when I see they are about to be crushed by their own immaturity, I pray and ask the Lord if I need to step in to assist. Sometimes He says yes. And sometimes I sense He says no. This is why I need His wisdom!!! 

8. If I feel I am to rescue them from peril, I honestly ask myself how to reposition them in life to go back and hit that lesson again. A failed test is a sign that more practice is needed....   Quitting is not the remedy.

9. I strive to remember how grateful I have been when other people—and God—have rescued me when I did not deserve it.

10. I ask the Lord to help me remain level-headed, matter-of-fact, and calm on the outside… even when I am feeling overwhelmed on the inside in my role of discipling teens!

We want our children to grow into mature, responsible adults who can lead families, ministries and businesses confidently. Today's style of laissez-faire parenting does not always yield the result we want: a mature, self-sacrificing adult!!  

When we embrace our roles as Christian trainers and mentors, we can see the reason for our momentary frustrations.

God has great plans for our kids’ lives. As we trust Him for His wisdom and courage, we will see those plans come to fruition.

Have you rescued your child recently?   How have you found the Lord’s wisdom for this?

 Image source:  André Gustavo Stumpf    via Flickr Creative commons Attributions License 2.0

 

 

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Works for Me Wednesday

Woman listening 25316103_2049462a8fBy Lisa Cherry

Have you ever tried to do a job with a tool that is wholly inadequate for your need? Like trying to wash a sink full of dirty dishes with a cheap paper towel because all your kitchen rags are in the wash? (A fresh example that I do not endorse!) How utterly frustrating and ineffective!

In the same way, many of us are trying to solve difficult issues in our homes with tools that will never be wholly effective. Oh, our self-help books or our friend's advice might drop in a little wisdom now and then, but somehow the root of our problem keeps producing the same horrible fruit. And we know we are in need of heavy duty assistance.

Well, do I have good news for you!!! You, my friend, have access to that dynamic assistance.....if you have made Jesus the Lord of your life. He is yearning to bring you the power, wisdom, and strength needed for every daily need.  He even provided the vehicle for you to receive His miracle help through the power of His never failing Word.

Our family suffered a complex, horrible wound.  We nearly lost our daughter when she was a teenager to the hands of a sexual predator. "Tough issue" does not even begin to describe the level of our problem! It was during that dark season that I discovered the secret, life-altering power of God's Word.

Oh, I knew that the Bible was important. I even knew it was true and living and active.

Back then I did not have a personal revelation of its explosive power. But when the Lord led me to take a long list of scriptures to pray out loud every day over my distraught and overwhelmed mind, I discovered an incredible secret.

He can release His divine answers though His divine Word!

I can't claim to understand this, but I can testify to its truth. Listening to God's Holy Scriptures and then speaking those scriptures out of my own mouth radically changed my life and my circumstances. You can read my full testimony here.

Here are five tips for getting heavy duty assistance on your most difficult needs:

1.  Listen to long passages of scripture on your phone/pc/pad.

I like the Bible Gateway app on my iPhone. I can start a book of the Bible and hit pause and it holds my place. Whether I am exercising, getting ready, or running errands my phone is always near. For years I placed a cassette player in my bathroom to do the same work. So find your own technological way....and watch your mind begin to come into divine order.

2. Do not be concerned about not "getting it all."

I used to think that I needed to re-listen if my mind wandered. Now I understand that even if my mind wanders, my spirit man is picking up the scripture. It's crazy! Truly our minds can be renewed and we will begin to think and problem-solve more in order with God's will. Remember, it's supernatural, not natural.

3. Develop a list of key scriptures for your situation.

When we were in battle for our daughter Kalyn, the Lord led me to a long list of scriptures to begin praying over my own home. I list those in the back of  my book Unmask the Predators. You, of course, can make your own personalized list. Many online and print resources can help you find scriptures if you need help.  Try BiblePromises.org, OpenBible.info, or the Bible Promise Book.

4. Find a way to record yourself reading those scriptures aloud.

Did you know you will often believe your own voice more than other voices? I like my free phone app called Supernote for recording my own voice. How can you make a simple recording you can listen to every day?

5. Match faith with the word of God.

The Bible says our Lord watches over His word to perform it.  He also says our part is to match faith with His promises! See Hebrews 4:1-2.

If you would like our prayers over your tough situation, drop a comment here or email me at Lisacherry9@aol.com.

 Image source: Shawn Allen

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Proverbs 31 Thursdays

desk LisaBy Lisa Cherry

This week I have torn my house up moving rooms around. I love the summertime when I can afford the time for such deeper work. In the process of moving my office to Josiah's bedroom, I was forced to go through my piles of books.

I love books. I love to grow my life by stretching into new ideas. However, my time for reading is always fleeting (← tweet), and it seems so much easier to just jump online aimlessly!

Surely, I am not the only one with quality books sitting unread on the shelves!

So as I was packing and sorting and cleaning, I remembered what I have seen some very wise people do. They maintain a reading list. This has worked for me in the past for myself and my kids. With of a good reading plan, I can take advantage of moving through many works.

Here are my ten tips:

1. Shake the pressure to read every word.  Did you know that reading part of a book is better than not reading it at all?

I pray and ask the Holy Spirit to assist me to get what I need from each book.  I have learned to read tables of contents, opening chapters and then thumb through for the main points.

Look for bullets in the margins. Note the highlighted materials. And then feel free to put the book back on the shelf even if you do not finish every word.

books lisa2. Separate the books you are reading now out.  Putting the ones aside that you have currently assigned to yourself prevents you from being overwhelmed by the other dozens that could be sitting in the wait.

The same can be true for arranging your e-books in an order of priority. I put my hottest projects right on the top of my desk shelf

3. Place the books strategically:

On the night stand by the bed
In the car
In the bathroom
In your briefcase or bag
By your recliner

4. Have more than one book going at a time.  I usually have a few I am reading at once, so I am not keeping track of "that one book." That might not suit all people but it works for me.

5. Discuss what you are reading. Make your home atmosphere supportive for sharing your latest revelation. That causes everyone to want to have something to talk about!

6. Sit down with each child and help them make a list.  While respecting reading preferences, it is appropriate for a parent to guide the reading selections of their children and teens. Just like a good healthy diet commands attention, healthy reading habits are cultivated.

7. Consider the audiobook option. With all the electronic access of this generation, there is no reason for anyone to not be a reader. Audiobook apps are available for many devices.

8.  Use social media to share what you are reading.  My daughter-in-law Tara does this through her blog MommyHeadAdventures.com and Facebook.   See her posts here  and here.

9. Put what you learn to use right away, or make note of it.  Retool your life to include that new spiritual discipline you read about.   Reflect on the godly life you read about in that Christian biography.  Practice that new tip for time management that caught your attention. 

10.  The most important one: Pray for the right books.  I'm finding new excitement in discovering classic Christian books, biographies, and current authors. We don't have to stay addicted to Redbox and Netflix!

 As I work with my kids this summer, I will share some of our list of books we have planned. 

Have you read any good books lately?  What’s on your reading list?   Please leave a comment here and let me know.

Gratefully linked to

Works for Me Wednesday  Top Ten Tuesday  Women With Purpose

Encourage One Another     Faith Filled Friday

scrabble 7366181556_1716db65aeBy Lisa Cherry

Flimsy? Isn't that an odd sounding word? When I read it I seem to think of paper plates for some reason. Especially when they are in the hand of a five year old who is carrying a plate of spaghetti from the kitchen stove to the dining room table! Ok, honestly I think of the floor and his shirt.

Flimsy according to dictionary.com has a couple of meanings.

adjective
1. without material strength or solidity: a flimsy fabric; a flimsy structure.
2. weak; inadequate; not effective or convincing: a flimsy excuse.

What happens when our kids' world works with "flimsy?" When they offer up inadequate, unconvincing excuses and they get what they want? 

Unfortunately the flimsy habit can lead to a flimsy life of dishonesty, irresponsibility, insensitivity, or laziness.

So how do we as parents navigate them away from flimsy and toward a life of strength? Here are the top 10 ways I thought of:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA1.  Develop an ear for flimsy much like a mother develops an eye for a spaghetti-covered paper plate.

2. When a flimsy excuse surfaces, trace the origins of the excuse to its logical consequences with your child. (Ex.: Son, you say you ran out of time. But the fact is that your room is not clean, yet you had time to check your email, cook a pizza, and talk on the phone to three people. This does not make any sense.)

3. Help your child/teen identify the real problem instead of the flimsy excuse version of the problem. (Ex.: Seems to me, son, the problem of your dirty room is not a problem of the amount of time but the prioritization of the time you had available.)

4. Admit your own struggles with the same form of flimsy, when appropriate. (Ex.: Son, this is a problem I face often at the job.)

5. Use the teachable moment to assist them to come out of flimsy by asking this question:  (Ex.: Son, what should you have done differently?)

6. Give them the explanation of the skill they are lacking. (Ex.: Son, have the courage to tackle the dreaded work in life first. It takes courage and self-control, but it always pays in the end.)

7. Express your intolerance for the flimsy. (Ex.: Son, I will not tolerate flimsy, dishonest-with-yourself types of excuses. )

8. Follow up with logical consequence discipline if the behavior persists. (Ex.: Since you did not find cleaning your room a priority when I asked you to, you may now clean not only your room but the kitchen as well.)

9. Celebrate honest admittance of failures. No one will always succeed. Factor in some failure in your kids....but encourage them to humbly and honestly admit their errors.

10. Put this scripture before your family's eyes:
     Psalm 51:6. Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.

Image sources Martinak15 and gotosira

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 Praise report on Nathan's Mayo Clinic Visit

Thank you so much for your prayers for Nathan. He got a good report from the doctor at Mayo! All scary diagnosis threats were refuted!

He had some complications to the recurring strep infection he has suffered with but doctor is expecting his recovery to come forth now after a few adjustments to his treatment plan. We are praising God for His healing mercies.

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Buy One, Get One Free Sale!  Free Shipping!

Throughout the month of June EVERYTHING will be Buy One, Get One Free (BOGO) with FREE shipping to anywhere in the United States!

Yes, everything is on sale!

When you purchase one of anything through Frontline Families we will automatically send you two copies of whatever you ordered.

If you have any questions or need any assistance with our products, please contact us via email or toll free at (800) 213-9899.

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Gratefully linked to: Top Ten Tuesday

fake hero

photo courtesy LaDeon

Last week the news was filled with discussions about the NBA player who came out of the closet about his gay lifestyle. Many hailed his announcement as an act of heroism. Heroism? Courage? Is this our new definition? Wow, is this what we want our kids to absorb?

Parents, over the ages heroes have been carefully sowed into kids' upbringing as we wanted to inspire them to aim for greatness. What happened to this concept???

Today, as I present to you Rear Admiral Lee's story from last week, I urge you....take back the heroes in your home!!

7 Ways to Replace Bad Role Models

1. Make a clear statement

Our kids need to hear your definition of a real hero. Such as ....."John, it is important for you to be watching out for counterfeits in our modern world. Counterfeit Heroes are all around us. I am going to be pointing out to you in the coming days examples of real heroes that are worthy of imitation in our lives."

2. Ask them to help you identify today's heroes.

"We are going to continue our family's discovery of honorable heroes. Will you please help me find them? Literature, real life, the news.....wherever we see them, let's share them with each other. This week at dinner, come with a few examples."

3. Use Psalm 12:8, Isaiah 5: 20-21, and Proverbs 10:23 as teaching standards.

As the world continues to hold up media images before our kids as the "cool ones" worthy of imitation, we will need to hold up God's principles as the image of heroism!  How do the pop stars lives compare to these scriptures?

4.  Look for movies of great Christian Heroes and have a family movie night (yes, even with teens!)

We have had family movie night tradition for over 12 years. It can work and it can allow you to sow in worthwhile flics. Suggestions:

5.  Read aloud sections of the most radical hero book of all time:  Foxe's Book of Martyrs (or get Kindle version)

6. Read aloud the classic book that has inspired mature believers for hundreds of years: Pilgrim's Progress (or get the free Kindle version here)

7. Hold up role models who are living valiantly for Jesus at a young age.

We can find teens and young adults around us who have NOT caved into the craziness of our world!
Who do you know?

For more stories of modern heroes of the faith, check out the ministry Voice of the Martyrs.