I saw this Huffington Post article last week:
Surely the article title was a trick, I reasoned.
But it wasn't a trick.
The author was actually proposing that parents allow their teens to invite their "partners" to sleepover.
The author proposed a list of questions the "wise" parent should consider before agreeing to the sexual contact arrangement such as....
"How well does your child know his or her partner? Is it a happy, committed relationship, or just a fling? Can your child handle the emotions of a sexual relationship? Are they putting themselves at risk of a sexually-transmitted disease or pregnancy? And...
Do they really want to have sex?"
Ok. Where do I start? Or...do I really need to start?
As I pondered this sad state of our current parenting culture, I wondered how this advice could be popular enough for even Huffington Post.
And I immediately thought of 4 reasons:
1. Parents themselves are living in such sexual sin that they do not feel they can say "no" to their kids without being hypocritical.
2. Parents do not know what science has proven about the immature impulses of the adolescent brain.
3. The modern "rights" and "entitlement" philosophies are overrunning parental common sense.
4. A Biblical worldview is so far from what today’s parents see as normal that it would not be even be considered. It has either been discarded as outmoded, or it was never even on their radar screen.
So.... are we are now sufficiently warned?
If we are currently raising teens, maybe we had best understand our own peers—not just our kids' peers.
The parents or our kids’ friends are exposed to this convoluted reasoning. And some are embracing it.
We must not give in to the peer pressure!
But we must realize that a parent of our child’s friend may be agreeing to their teen’s request to a sleepover without even discussing it with us. Some might consider it “bad form” to break confidence with their teen.
Are you as alarmed as I am?
Please take time to read Barrett Johnson’s When Your Teenager Wants to Have Sex in Your Home: A Biblical Response. His article is an excellent resource of reasoning on this topic.
We are in the middle of a culture war and I am not going to sit on the sidelines. I’ve written about this in my book Not Open: Win the Invisible Spiritual Culture War, which I coauthored with my son Lucas.
Have you read it yet?
Here is what one reader said recently after she bought it for her family:
"I read Not Open this week. Thank you ! Thank you!!!! This book needs to be in the hands of every parent.
We are at war, and it's so easy for the truth to get lost in the culture.
God bless you and thank you for listening and praying, and for investing in the lives of other parents.
- Kathy (Alabama)