Archives For anger

volcano 220px-04Sep2007_Etna_from_SE_Crater

By Lisa Cherry

Can you relate to my title? How funny but how true!

May I be so personal as to offer you an inside look at how this mom (who has launched three out of the teen years but still lives with six teens and tweens today) handles the above dilemma?  

OK, I will only tell you my best tips for when I handle the teenage anger well! We don't really want to hear about the other times. :)

Tip 1  Picture yourself observing a volcano. It is blowing up, but you are not. You are an observer. You are holding your cool and simply standing by while the lava flows. (I know that's a little weird....but it is a great image that helps. Somebody has to be the adult!!)

Tip 2  Paint a two year old face on that big boy/big girl body. It is the same irrational child locked into a similar stage of immaturity. Just like you learned not to bite on every two year old temper tantrum and get hysterical yourself, you can learn to do the same now!!  …with God's grace.

Tip 3  Wait for the storm to pass. And then sit down and learn together with your teen what caused the storm. God is right there bringing His Wisdom and love to you both.

Tip 4  Understand that you will not prove the scriptures wrong. They work!!!

A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 29:11

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1: 19-20

Image source: Wikipedia

Linked to:
Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday
Modest Mondays
Making your Home Sing Monday
Titus 2sdays
Titus 2 Tuesdays
Teach Me Tuesdays

Updated June 20, 2012

I can understand this Texas father’s rage.

He discovered a 46 year old man sexually molesting his four year old daughter in a secluded area on the family ranch.  

Nothing will ignite the adrenaline-fueled anger like someone harming your own child.  We felt this primitive response too when we learned what a family friend had done to our 15-year-old daughter, Kalyn. However we did not act on it.

 But oh the pain that is still forthcoming when the dad’s response resulted in the abuser’s death.

Is there anything that could be learned from this tragic event in our own quest to protect our children? I can think of a few things.

1. We must understand that even our own homes are not places to let down our guard when visitors are present.  

2.  This perpetrator had the audacity to act even with the high risk of discovery. It shows how offenders can be deceived into thinking they are invisible.

3. Authorities have said that the abuser was hired by the family to work on the ranch.  Sometimes the rules of stranger danger are not enough. We must recognize that 90% of predators are known to the victim. Perceived trust can cause us as parents to subconsciously label people as safe and allow an abuser private access to a child.

4.  It does not take long for an abuser to act. Our defenses must be constantly on guard.

5. Sexual abuse is totally illogical to the normal mind. If we try to apply our beliefs to their actions, we can be naively tricked. Just because we would never see a child as a sexual object does not mean that others have the same standards. Shocking, isn’t it?

Will you join me in prayer for this family? A little child has been traumatized and needs healing.

Though the county grand jury has announced her Daddy will not face charges, this family is facing unthinkable grief and pain.  And who knows how many family members of the perpetrator are shocked and grieved as well.

By Lisa Cherry  author of Unmask the Predators

Image courtesy of Adrian van Leen

Photo courtesy of Ramzi Hashisho

By Lisa Cherry

When someone hurts me or steps on my toes in some way, there is a part of me that is eager to jump up and take action. My response is urgent, hot, and primitive. I want revenge!

“Hey, that’s not fair, what you said. Take it back…or else.”

“You were so mean to me. You hurt me and I am going to let everyone know what you did!”

“Just wait until I get done with you. You are going to wish you hadn’t hurt me!”

But revenge never works. It does not correct the wrong or stop the pain. It adds fuel to my negative emotions and destroys my peace.

Revenge just breeds more pain. I end up with anger, turmoil, and bitterness. Whoever said “Revenge is sweet” was mistaken.

There is a better way to deal with our hurts. God’s word warns us: “Do not say, ‘I’ll pay you back for this wrong!’ Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.” Proverbs 20:22

My life was radically changed when I learned to trust God when others have done wrong to me. It was a lesson not easily learned, but wrought in me by God in the midst of battle.

Waiting for the Lord is the key. He will take charge when we have been wronged, if we will wait for Him.

Sometimes the justice He works is overt, and someone will either repent, or make restitution. At other times He pours out to us a grace for our own healing while we never know what He does with the person who hurt us. His deliverance delivers our freedom!

Whoever or whatever has wronged you today, are you ready to cast it upon the Lord? Are you ready to repent of your angry words and turn your heart toward waiting for the Lord?

I have found a grace in waiting that is powerful. It is a spiritual force of forgiveness. And it is accessed only through the blood of Jesus and only for those who want it.

Let's take 30 seconds to meditate on this verse:

“Do not say, ‘I’ll pay you back for this wrong!’ Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.” Proverbs 20:22

Wisdom Wednesday posts are inspired by a verse from the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds to the posting date.

What a great pleasure to travel with my good friend Lynne to the Richmond, Virginia Acquire the Fire event last weekend. We two girls flew American Airlines to tackle the weekly adventure of cross-country travel.

When we arrived in Richmond we were greeted by our charming weekend chauffeur and assistant, Pam. One quick hug from that dear woman and Lynne and I knew we had made a new Virginia friend. As we piled our larger than usual bags and crates into her cute little Sierra, our hearts melded into a common vision: Delivery of a word of hope and encouragement to our eastern POTTs (Parents of Tweens and Teens).

We knew we would work up a good sweat as we struggled to figure out how to assemble our booth, banner stands and lighting equipment. But we were so determined to finish our tasks strong for the Lord.

Continue reading “Richmond POTTs and Fireworks in the Shuttle” »

This is my anger can*. Anger dumps into it whenever someone irritates me.

When I find the dirty socks dropped in the hall…again.
When nobody put their dishes in the dishwasher…again.
When somebody says a hurtful word to my son…again.

My anger can should have a warning label:  CAUTION—CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE.  EXPLOSION HAZARD!

Continue reading “What Will I Do with the Anger I Feel? Wisdom Wednesday” »