Archives For children

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I am tired of my 8 year old son being b-o-m-b-a-r-d-e-d with sexual imagery!

I want his biggest concern today to be whether our new puppy was the one who dug the ugly hole in our backyard. (That was his crisis of the morning!)

I want him to be a pre-adolescent innocent kid!

Not someone who has to have an opinion on the rainbow draped White House and Chobani yogurt ads.

Problem is....he is living in the same world that I am and you are. And we know his ears will pick up on the cultural talk.

So here are some helpful ways I have found to give him the childhood he deserves!

1. Get my definitions correct.

Jesus says we should be "innocent as doves but wise as serpents." (Matthew 10:16)

Notice He did not say we should be naive (meaning gullible and easily tricked) or ignorant (meaning uninformed of something you should be warned about.)

In our parenting today, it will be up to us to sort out this important difference!

Miriam Webster online has these definitions of innocence:


a  :  freedom from guilt or sin through being unacquainted with evil :  blamelessness

b  :  chastity

c  :  freedom from legal guilt of a particular crime or offense 

(1)  :  freedom from guile or cunning :  simplicity (2)  :  lack of worldly experience or sophistication

We want our kids to be free because they have no personal experience with evil.

And we want to celebrate their lack of worldly experience or sophistication as good!

2. Remove media as needed.

Every family must make their own decision about the use of television and movies. But make no mistake about it. Every random unsupervised hour of viewing challenges our kids' innocence like nothing else.

3. Go back to having real fun!

Getting dirty in the back yard. Building a fort. Making a horrible mess in the kitchen inventing a cake. Dragging out the picture albums. Playing the board games. 

What if you intentionally turned the hands of the clock back a few years and did not do something electronic! (Warning: you will have more mess to clean up. Hmm. Could that be one reason we allow them to plug into the media stuff anyway? Perhaps as parents we better decide what kind of mess we would really rather have!)

4. Frame… but don't remove human drama.

Some parents in an effort to do #3 and #4 inadvertently sanitized their kids’ world into a state that made them even more curious (and vulnerable) to the television and movie industry! I have watched this in myself and others.

The fact is, we cannot keep our kids in a nursery Winnie the Pooh land. Their own human curiosity will break them out! 

Instead, frame the drama with a biblical perspective.   Start by checking out the Old Testament. It is full of drama and disaster. It is not sweet and sterile and cute. It reveals history in all its flare. Good vs. evil. Obedience vs. rebellion. These are true stories, which according to 1 Corinthians 10:6 & 11, “occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did….These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come.”

Over the years I have noticed books can be a real help in this area. But what if you have a child without reading skills or desires?

When Josiah, my eight year old, was five, I got him interested in audio books. I gave him a bucket of Legos and let that imagination of blood and guts and drama be satisfied with classical books of the past. Boy stuff like Robinson Crusoe and Swiss Family Robinson.

5. STOP the your own mind and reject them in others who influence your kids.

I was appalled when I read about the Facebook post by Hillary Clinton affirming a gender-confused child. What could have led him to identify himself as homosexual at such a young age? He needs counseling, prayer, love and truth… not more confusion.

Then I read the outrageous story of the lesbian teacher who intentionally altered kindergarteners view of sexuality!

I have made up my mind these things will not define my kids...(or grandkids!) I will do what it takes to protect them. (Think mama bear here!)

Take an inventory in your kids' lives. Who is in danger of stealing their innocence right now? Who do you need to back them away from???

6. Pray for them every day

In reality....only God will protect my kids from this mess. My job is to pray, trust, and act on the leading of the Holy Spirit.

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Last week's SCOTUS verdict mandating all 50 states to legalize “gay” marriage has shaken the US church. For good reason. We have entered a new era that will alter our nation in many significant ways.

Doug and I are realizing this moment in history is significant not only for our nation...but also for each one of our kids. After spending some time talking with them, I have compiled a list of 10 Things our kids Need to Know Now!

1. God's word, the Bible, is clear on the issue of homosexuality.

The Bible is the best sex education curriculum for our kids! When we read what He said, it opens the door for practical explanations with our kids. If you have not taught your children, now is the time. Even young ones are being systematically indoctrinated to receive homosexuality as normal.  Here are some scripture-based tools to help your discussion:

Not Open ebook_LARGE

Straight Talk In a Sex-Saturated Culture

2. Marriage was not invented by governments, but by God.

Pictures of the White House in rainbow colors and demonstrators in front of the Supreme Court saying "Love Wins" are confusing. These are the highest institutions we teach our kids to honor. We must use this ruling as a teachable moment to explain how our government works....and how it has taken a wrong turn. Marriage was invented by God so government cannot really change it. Click here for a great article by Albert Mohler that explains.

3. Revisionists are people who change ancient documents to match current fad.

Revisionism is a philosophy or belief system. "Revisionism" is at odds with orthodoxy. Right now we are watching the Supreme Court ruling with a progressivism view of revising. We are also watching many modern Christians "revising" the Bible to allow for the new gay theology. They need to know that a "Christian" site found on Google may be revisionist—and thereby heretical.

 4. Homosexual sin can be forgiven and cleansed.

 We must continue to emphasize to our kids that all people—no matter what kind of sin they have committed —are welcome to come to God! He yearns to save and forgive the sin of homosexuality just as He forgives all the other sin problems. Your children's friends may be struggling with same sex attraction. Your child may even be struggling and not telling you! Our testimony of love and welcoming heart is vital right now to our kids.

 5. Deception is rampant and loud in our generation.

It wouldn't be deception if it were not deceiving.

A deceived personby very definitionwould not know it.

Those two facts our children must understand. The views they hear and see on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, television, movies, their friends and their teachers can all be wrong…even if they come from nice people.

 6. Lies have been sown into the young generation's minds that can be confusing.

Let your kids know that the world has changed dramatically in the last few years. Let them know that until just a few years ago homosexuality was not portrayed on prime time. That may shock them for this is all they know.

 7. Just because friends/relatives may embrace the "new normal" our family never will.

Our kids need to hear a clear statement of faith and doctrine from us. They are watching a world that is shifting so quickly that it is incredible. Drop an anchor for them to give them stability in the confusion.

 8. Guard your heart...and ask me any questions you have.

 Son, do not be alarmed when a random thought about homosexuality hits your mind. Daughter, do not be alarmed when you really enjoy spending time with your girlfriend. We are living in a sexually overcharged and perverse culture. The devil is going to throw darts into your mind. Learn to recognize them and block them in Jesus name. And know this, my child...I will answer any question. You will never be rejected and no subject is off limits!

 9. We may experience even more forms of ridicule or persecution.

We may as well prepare ourselves. It is very unlikely that being a Christian who stands for marriage is going to be easy. Our kids know this. And if they are like ours, they are worried about their futures. Reassure them of the faithfulness of our God. Give them hope. But don't sugar coat the truth. They will need courage and preparation to stand in their generation.

 10. This is an exciting time God has called us to live!

We could have been born in grandma's generation. But we weren't. And I am glad! God has put us here for a reason and a purpose to live the adventure of serving Him until He comes back again!


P.S. Daniel King hit the nail on the head with his article 15 Reasons Why the Supreme Court made the Wrong Decision about Homosexual Marriage. We’re talking about it with our kids at dinner tonight.

 Image: Greg Westfall “1FBK7922” via Flickr Creative Commons
License: Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

Related posts:

Mom, Would You Love Me if I’m Bisexual?, Part 1

When a Child is Subtlety Deceived by the ‘Gay’ Love Story

10 Reasons Why Parents Should be Concerned about the Transgender Children Debate

10 Lies of the Gay Agenda and the Biblical Truths that Counter Them

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The "Day of Silence" is scheduled for April 17 this year.

It is an annual event at schools organized by GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network).

I appreciated receiving this educational piece about it this week:

Keep Your Children Home from School on Day of Silence April 17, 2015

If you have children in public schools—or know kids from your church in public schools—you owe it to them to find out what they will be faced with on that day.

This article explains how the "Day of Silence" puts teachers as well as students in what feels like a lose/lose place.

Read the article. And then together let's pray that Christian parents and teachers will be equipped to make Godly responses to this overt attempt to manipulate students.

Image: Corey Ann “Jitters” via Flickr Creative Commons
License: Attribution-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-ND 2.0)


Is that your child is standing on the edge of a dangerous cliff? 

He could fall...  or jump off!!

What can you do to protect him?

I told you last time that I would be sending you instructions for 5 important conversations for us to have with our kids before school starts again.

Most of us are down to the last days of summer. So while we are busy buying the school supplies, let's also attend to the more important work of before-school preparation.

Do I need to spend much effort to convince you that something is terribly wrong in our culture? With every passing day, we are watching horrible, ungodly changes. I figure if you are reading this email, you are already in agreement with us that we have a big PROBLEM.

But may I remind you, fellow parent, that what we see as an obvious PROBLEM may not appear so obvious to our children.  They don't remember the good ole' days when God was honored and moral boundaries were clear.

Hey, to our kids 5 years ago seems like a lifetime. Therefore, they are in danger of recalibrating to the new normal.

So with this big PROBLEM, our families' risk is no longer just the danger of our kids developing a rebellious attitude, smoking some cigarettes, and failing a few classes. You are up against something far more serious. We are up against:

The spiritual force of Lawlessness…

     .....and the Great Falling Away from God

Parents, before school starts again, we must alert our children of these two dangers they will most certainly face. If they are not aware of the spiritual atmosphere they are living in, they may become easy prey for the forces of darkness seeking to steer their life over the cliff.

Are you prepared to have this important conversation with your child? Are you prepared to explain to them that many of their peers even this year may develop an "I can write my own rules and be my own boss" attitude, and will begin to smirk at things like absolute truth and biblical values?

Are you ready to help them become astute at recognizing the voice of the devil when he presents them with smooth sounding lies? (Luke 4:1-13)

This is the most important stuff. For your children's spiritual life may depend on their ability to withstand the pounding tide of spiritual warfare that is destroying this current generation.

We (not just the pastors and youth leaders) must be the ones to warn them and to train them to know the truth. For either we help them recognize and resist the poison flooding toward them, or they will end up swallowing the lethal mixture for themselves.

Conversation #2 requires courage, wisdom and a Bible. So here are your tools to get you started. You do not have to be a Bible scholar to understand. But when your family reads these scriptures together, feel free to consult Bible Study Tools.

Matthew 24: 4-14

2 Thessalonians 2

1 Timothy 4: 1-2

2 Timothy 3:1-5

If they are not yet recognizing the PROBLEM, we suggest getting them a copy of our book Not Open: Win the Invisible Spiritual Culture War.

Together as a family you can STAND in the REMNANT!

Image: Andrew Catellier09-23-2012” via Flickr Creative Commons
License: Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

Related post:

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5 Parent/Child Conversations to Have before School Starts: #1

Kalyn is Almost to Birth!

Lisa Cherry —  August 4, 2014

baby shoes

As many of you may know, my daughter Kalyn is soon to give birth to her third child. We are so blessed to be welcoming this new arrival.

Yet at the same time, this season has not always been easy, for this is a pregnancy experienced on the wings of great loss. Her little Esther Kate was born into the arms of Jesus about 18 months ago.

When I read Kalyn's post today, My Experience With Pregnancy After Loss – A Reflection on the Last 8 months,  I thought many of you might want to see it.

You see, as a mom and grandma, I want to know the inside thoughts of my children.  When I get a peek in—whether it is a pleasant look or a painful one—I consider it a treasure.

I have heard from many of you that Kalyn's journey to healing after pregnancy loss is also your personal journey. If so, I am certain you can relate to her writing. Or perhaps you know a friend who could use the words of understanding and support......

So with this post also comes a prayer request.

Will you pray for Kalyn and the unborn baby she carries? She and her husband Adam have been told that this little one does not have a second kidney that formed. We are very pleased that after multiple tests the first kidney looks strong! But we need it to stay that way, and pray for a good, healthy birth!

Her due date is September 2, so we will keep you posted! Thanks.

Image:  Aureusbay “ Shoes_ wb43__4379” via Flickr Creative Commons
License: Attribution-NonCommercial 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC 2.0)

My Experience With Pregnancy After Loss – A Reflection on the Last 8 months

photo(61)Lately it has been much harder than normal to sit down and organize my thoughts into a blog post. I can hardly believe we are in the final stretch of this pregnancy. The last 8 months have seemed like a blur in many ways. I have had so many things running through my heart, and my mind has been scattered much of the time. When I try to sit and reflect, I recognize consistent patterns of inconsistencies. :-) A big mass of conflicting emotions and thoughts.

I feel like I just have my eyes on September 2, and I am running(or waddling), struggling, striving to just GET there. To get to labor and delivery, have my baby alive and crying, and bring him/her home with me.

It might seem strange to the average mom, but sometimes this feels like a feat as large as climbing Mt. Everest. I have to remind myself that everyday, hundreds of women around the world are pregnant and give birth to living babies. It’s not so difficult. But my heart doesn’t quite understand. I wanted to share a few thoughts on what pregnancy after loss has been like for me…

Pregnancy after loss for me has been:

…Unspeakable joy for the opportunity to carry another child and continuing grief for the life I will never get to know. It is hard to explain the confusing, powerful, assortment of emotions that have been my constant companion since the beginning of this year. I have been stretched and challenged by this conflicting mix daily over the last eight months.

photo(60)…Days of smiling to the kicks of life in my belly and days weeping at the grave of my second born. Having a baby after the death of a baby is really such a gift. There is a renewed sense of hope in a way. And yet, there is this lingering (even deepened) sense of emptiness knowing that nothing will ever fill the hole left by my little Esther’s absence.

… A combination of moments that take my breathe away – like hearing the heartbeat for the first, second, third time – and moments that I literally can’t breath – like laying on the table while they try to assess and re-assess the health of my baby’s organs. I know pregnancy can always be a roller coaster, but the stakes just seem so much higher now. The ups are so high, and the downs are very low.

…Heart melting moments of seeing Kyla attach to this baby, and heart stabbing moments realizing what she has already missed. It thrills me to see Kyla run up and give my belly kisses, tell the baby how much she loves him/her, and how she will see them soon. Her fascination with babies and excitement over having this little brother or sister is so precious. Yet she should already have a little sister just turning one. I still feel my heart skip a beat every time she says, “Our baby Esther is in heaven” or “I want to go see Esther’s grave. I miss her.” How can a mommy heart fully understand? What beauty and yet what pain interlaced.

…Much easier physically, yet much more difficult emotionally. The uncomfortable side effects of pregnancy just really haven’t bothered me too much this time. I’m pretty sure I feel about the same, I’m just looking at it very differently. When my feet swell, all I can do is waddle, and bouts of sleeplessness set in, it seems so much easier to take it in stride. Instead of being concerned about weight gain, unsightly veins, or stretch marks, I just think about that little heart beating inside of me and these things all seem like such small prices to pay. Yet the emotional stress has been much greater this time around. I wish I didn’t know everything that could go wrong. I miss that innocence.

photo(62)…Preparing baby things while baby things still represent deep pain to me. This may be hard to understand, but let me explain. After losing Esther, seeing babies and baby things brought fresh pain to my heart. Every time I would walk by baby girl clothes, I would feel the ache. Sometimes I would completely ignore the baby department, and sometimes I would browse through, imagining what she would look like in the soft pink outfits. Every single time I have gone to buy something for this baby, I have found myself in an emotional war zone that many times has led to a tearful breakdown. Since baby stuff has been a “trigger” for this grief, getting ready for another baby has been a constant emotional trigger. I’m thankful for the patience of my hubby as he has lovingly helping me walk through this. You don’t want to know how many trips to a store or website it took me before I finally bought some baby clothes for this little one. ;-)

…Exciting and terrifying all at the same time. I can hardly imagine how wonderful it will be to have another baby in our home! Sometimes I feel like I could burst from the excitement. And yet I have hardly known this kind of fear before. I feel like I have to slay dragons every day. My heart and mind remember the trauma so intimately. I know that most people probably do not feel inclined to do kick counts in the middle of the night, but well, most people probably haven’t given birth to a stillborn baby either. Sometimes I have to tell myself to get a grip. This journey has required me to hold onto my God like never before. I often feel like a toddler holding onto their daddy for dear life. I am thankful for the steadfast nature of my Father God that has upheld me day by day.

photo(63)…Beautiful. I have been able to appreciate the wonder of this process like I never could otherwise. Every flutter, every kick, every ultrasound photo has inspired in me such an awe for the beauty of created life in the womb. How special to get to experience the fullness of this.

…Humbling. I have a very Type A personality. I like to be in control and know what is going on. This whole pregnancy I have felt pretty out of control, out of my league, and unable to figure things out myself. I have felt like my heart is sitting out in the open. I’ve realize that I am really unable to protect myself or my child. I have needed more support. And most of all, I have had to find a hiding place inside my Jesus to get through each day.

So many times this process has seemed like too much for my heart to bear…the waiting, the uncertainty, the what ifs. Yet God has upheld me day by day. He is so faithful. In closing, wanted to share a song that has meant a lot to me in the last few days:

You are For Me

My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

We are now 29 days away from the estimated arrival!  SO CLOSE!!! Thanks for your continued prayers. Pretty soon, I’ll be introducing a new member of our family! :)