Archives For Christian Parenting


Photo courtesy George Hodan

When I read the title of the recent article How To Raise a Self-Righteous, Selfish Christian Kid, my stomach did a flip flop. Yuck! That is exactly the descriptive words I have wanted to avoid becoming attached to my Christian Kids.... so I wisely took a peak to see what it said.

This paragraph stood out to me:

A continual reliance on external motivators enhances a person's selfishness as it exchanges a little gratification for a desired behavior. Children raised in homes where external motivation dominated the leadership strategy ask different questions about life such as, "Are you going to pay me for this?" Not only does behavior modification encourage selfishness, but it also removes the moral motivations necessary for healthy and mature decision-making. Kids then tend to ask the question, "What's in it for me?" instead of "What's the right thing to do?"

What do you think about the authors' conclusions? Do external motivators like....

Reward charts
Allowance systems
Monetary incentives


Can these things become crutches that interfere with our kids' development instead of enhance it?

My personal observation says yes!  I have noticed that my best designed reward systems over the years seem to have often backfired on me just like the authors described.

It seems to me that this issue of whether to reward behavior is not a total either/or question. I am not ready to cancel all encouragement for right behaviors. But the authors' point is well taken. If our kids are addicted to external motivation, they will never grow to be the mature Christian women and men that will lead the church into the future.

So this week I am praying about this issue as I ask The Lord for WISDOM and BALANCE.

Care to join me?

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This is big. In fact it is one of the most ambitious projects I have ever attempted. And I am looking to your help!!!

After the huge interest in the article I wrote titled An Open Letter To my Fellow Homeschool Parents, I knew we were called to do more to protect kids and families. So we have been working very hard to put together a nationwide event.

We have secured extremely qualified experts.

Put together a line up of powerful topics.

And are now passing the word to everyone we know.


If we will educate ourselves......and upgrade our policies.....we can keep our kids safe!

Make your plans to join us for the live interviews. And for the ones you can't make, make your plans to check out the archives on our site later.

Schedule for the week:

Here is a link to Kalyn and Lisa's  interview on The Herman Show:

Call or email me if you have questions about the event or special ideas about spreading the word about the event.       800 213 9899



Last week Franklin Graham said what surely many of us our thinking.

As I read the news, I can't help but wonder if we are in the last hours before our Lord Jesus Christ returns to rescue His church and God pours out His wrath on the world for the rejection of His Son. I don't know if we have hours, days, months, or years—but as Christians, God calls us to take the truth of the Gospel to the ends of the earth.

So is it the end of the age? Whose theory and interpretation should we believe?

Honestly, I do not have the definitive answer to those questions, but I do know this:

We are seeing increased darkness
We are seeing increased falling away from biblical Christianity


We are seeing increased lawlessness!

So whether it is the end or just a very very dangerous season...IT IS TIME TO MAKE OUR WISE RESPONSES AS FAMILIES!

That is why this week Doug and I are releasing a new initiative called Project 7000. We believe we must do more RIGHT NOW to prepare and equip the Remnant of The Lord.

(Maybe you saw something about it last week. We are explaining it in a series of email and video communications.)

For the last year we have had many many ask us...


Project 7000 is our best response. It is born on the wings of prayer and we are taking the Lord's call to this assignment very very seriously.


Here is the link to our new site that explains how we will accomplish the 3 things we heard from our readers that they needed now for their families:

1.    Defend-Your-Faith Worldview Training
2.   Strengthen-Your-Family-Relationship Building
3.   Develop-Your-Team Role Models

Will you prayerfully consider joining with us? Doug and I will be pouring our hearts into our kids' lives in order to build our family's ark...and then we will share with you and your family every step of the way as well! We will begin our online sign up on Tuesday @ 8am eastern and then close this opening group of participants on Thursday @ 11:00 pm est.

Project 7000

Together we can be like what God told Elijah that was reiterated in Romans 11:

One of the "7,000" that have not bowed a knee to Baal!

Will you be a part of The Remnant?

In His Service,

PS. Doug will be traveling to Washington DC on Thursday, September 11 to launch this PROJECT 7000 off with prayer at our nation's capital.  We will send you the schedule of how you can follow him on his journey.

The Sex Ed Book List I Promised

I have intentionally been doing some parental "continuing education" on the topic of how to talk to your kids about sexuality. In last Monday's post, Sex Education: 8 keys to talking to your children, I mentioned I had been doing some reading. Some of you messaged me wanting to know what I had been reading, so today I am sharing some of the resources I have been reviewing. Some of them were new to my library....and some were trusted standbys that I reviewed with fresh eyes.

Please do not take this as an exhaustive list. In fact, I will be adding to it over time. But each of these titles has been significant to me, so perhaps they will also help you!

I cannot endorse every idea in all these resources. Please note that I believe there is a great deal of room for parental style in how to present this issue! Take what you like and leave the rest....that is what I do when I read parenting books under the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

Books Lisa has been reading lately (Click on cover picture to order):

Books to read with kids:

Why Boys and Girls are Different by Carol Greene

The Story of Me by Stan and Brenna Jones

Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge

The Wonderful Way Babies are Made by Larry Christenson

What's the Big Deal? Why God Cares About Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones

Before I Was Born by Carolyn Nystrom

I have used each of these resources with my kids at different stages. I think they can each be effective in their own way.

Books to learn more as a parent:

Every Young Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge: This is a great discussion starter with your girls that includes a section for mom ...and then a section for mom (or dad) and daughter.

Beautifully Made: 1 Approaching Womanhood;
2 Celebrating Womanhood
edited by Julie Hiramine

Guardians of Purity by Julie Hiramine
A new read for me. Excellent book! I loved it!

Preparing for Adolescence by Dr. James Dobson
This is a classic! It is so helpful to review the growth and development needs of your kids on a regular basis.

A Covenant with My Eyes by Bob Sorge
Wow ! This takes issues of purity straight to the heart!

Talking to Your Kids About Sex by Mark Laaser Ph.D.
Great help for those coming to their parenting with wounds and hurts in their past. I didn't agree with all the conclusions in the last half, but I found it very helpful.

A Queer Thing Happened to America by Michael L Brown Ph.D.
I did not know the history of the gay agenda ....which is the history of the sexual pressures of this generation. I learned so much here that is helping me explain things to my kids.

Can You be Gay and Christian? By Michael L Brown Ph.D.
This book is a must if we are to handle the theological questions our kids are bound to ask in a rapidly shifting culture.

storm clouds 33011952_32afa56892_z Note: If this post does not apply to you perhaps you know a friend who needs some strong encouragement!

This post is for those who need a little encouragement right now.

Maybe the first week of your new school year did not go as smoothly as what you hoped. Or maybe it is even worse—it was a complete disaster!

Just this morning I was  walking in my house when a strong memory hit my mind. I remembered when my 15 year old daughter Kalyn was in the worst state after her sexual abuse. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g about my daily life became difficult.

She was Defiant with a capital D and Miserable with a capital M! (In fact, the first day of one of her semesters she protested by running away for a day!)

Let's face it. For many different reasons children can go through seasons where it feels almost impossible to have peace.

But here is my encouragement: You serve a God who is the Prince of Peace and who surrounds His people with songs of deliverance!

Draw close to Him immediately, dear parent. Do not try to figure this all out on your own strength.

He understands your disappointment and your embarrassment. And He is right there with you to bring you comfort, wisdom, and strength.

Go back and read Isaiah 61: 1-4. Take strength from those precious words of hope.

You will make it through this season of struggle. God will breakthrough with the wisdom and grace you so desperately need. Please know I am praying for you right now!

Here are some links that can help you right now to gain some fresh strength and vision.

Am I Ready for a Parenting Crisis?

Mission Accomplished: She Rebelled So Hard, But God’s Plan Prevailed

Peace in Parenting At-Risk Teens

Image: Tim Hamilton “A Storm Brewing”   via Flickr Creative Commons
License: Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic





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