Archives For kids

snarling_child

Photo courtesy George Hodan

When I read the title of the recent article How To Raise a Self-Righteous, Selfish Christian Kid, my stomach did a flip flop. Yuck! That is exactly the descriptive words I have wanted to avoid becoming attached to my Christian Kids.... so I wisely took a peak to see what it said.

This paragraph stood out to me:

A continual reliance on external motivators enhances a person's selfishness as it exchanges a little gratification for a desired behavior. Children raised in homes where external motivation dominated the leadership strategy ask different questions about life such as, "Are you going to pay me for this?" Not only does behavior modification encourage selfishness, but it also removes the moral motivations necessary for healthy and mature decision-making. Kids then tend to ask the question, "What's in it for me?" instead of "What's the right thing to do?"

What do you think about the authors' conclusions? Do external motivators like....

Reward charts
Allowance systems
And
Monetary incentives

Work????

Can these things become crutches that interfere with our kids' development instead of enhance it?

My personal observation says yes!  I have noticed that my best designed reward systems over the years seem to have often backfired on me just like the authors described.

It seems to me that this issue of whether to reward behavior is not a total either/or question. I am not ready to cancel all encouragement for right behaviors. But the authors' point is well taken. If our kids are addicted to external motivation, they will never grow to be the mature Christian women and men that will lead the church into the future.

So this week I am praying about this issue as I ask The Lord for WISDOM and BALANCE.

Care to join me?

Feet beach 

It was one day from my beach vantage point that I began contemplating how each of my kids will be entering into a new season this fall…

…simply because they are one year older.

I am keenly aware that back to school time is almost here.

In one sense that is exciting, but I must admit I have loved the opportunity for more relaxed days that allowed me to breathe easier and look at life from some new perspectives.

It was in this pondering posture that I asked myself a question:

"Lisa, what intentional conversations do you need to have with each of your kids as we turn into the new season?"

Many thoughts hit my mind, but five common themes rose to the top of my list.

Please note that as I share these topics you might be tempted to say to yourself, "Lisa, I have already had that talk."

Over the years I have learned an important truth: We parents think we "covered it" but our kids often say they don't remember!

I used to think that was because of selective amnesia. But actually I think it is more because of the phenomenon of growth. They hear a topic at one age....but they need it updated at the next age!

Here is my first of 5 today. As you ponder how to address this issue with each of your kids, I will share with you some thoughts and tools.

And then would you do me a favor? Would you comment back to us about how your conversation went? We can all grow when we share our collective experiences!

Conversation #1: Pornography

Here are some facts about porn:

*The average age of first exposure is 9 or 11, depending on which study you cite.

*Pornographic images in an adolescent brain are considered more addictive than many drugs.

*Nearly 9 out of 10 college age men and one third of college age women report using pornography.

 I am not an expert on this  topic.  So I am going to lean on some friends of mine who have taught me a lot.

Here are your tools:

Free E-Book: Your Brain on Porn

5 Mistakes Parents Make When It Comes to Talking About Porn

When your child is looking at porn

Caution: don’t think you can ignore this topic.  You may think you can insulate your child from porn. I have spoken with many Christian parents who were shocked to find their child was deeply mired in porn use. Even highly alert parents have wept telling how they intended to shield their children from this. 

I challenge you to have another talk with your kids about porn now.

Please note:  This post contains affiliate links.  Thanks for supporting Frontline Family Ministries.

 

swings ben and ryanBy Lisa Cherry

Tara sent me this great picture of her two youngest, Ben and Ryan, enjoying their new swings.

My grandmamma-heart swelled with joy to see them having fun! And I needed that chuckle right then as the weights and pressures of my day were squashing me down.

As I enjoyed their smiles, I was immediately reminded by the Lord of the picture I have hanging strategically on my bedroom wall. It’s called “Will You Trust Me?” and the artist is Cliff Hawley.

Lisa, you can have as much fun as they do. Every day! ...if you will trust Me!
swing -photo of painting 2

AHHHH! Thanks, Tara.

And thanks, God, for that reminder.

Gratefully linked to:     Tell Me a Story    Faith Filled Friday

 

 

Kalyn Cherry Waller

Kalyn has not turned Hindu....she was simply a mama desperate for some sticker entertainment in flight  with a 20 month old! Ahhhhhhhh.....traveling as Grammy has neat perks. I am assuming someone else calculated the snacks, the diaper and the toy count.  I just get to take pictures and watch her discover the airplane lights.Kalyn Cherry Waller

This week I have been particularly alerted to the wonder of the seasons of life. As surely as spring beings its annual transformations without my assistance, the seasons of my family's life  keep rolling along whether I want them to or not.  As a younger mom, I would often look ahead wanting to rush myself forward to the next plateau or development. Now, I want to slow everyone down! But in reality, I don't have the luxury of either option. For God, himself, is the orchestrator of seasons.

So my next best option? Enjoy.....I mean really enjoy....the season we are in. Take time to laugh at their silly Kyla Wallerjokes and remember the corny movie line with them. That is my family fun advice for this week. Simple. And yet profound.

Oh, I know we are all busy keeping our lives running and achieving and earning. But the best are the moments when you catch a glimpse afresh at why you are running, achieving, and earning anyway.

P.S. .....We made it a whole week with keeping our house in greater order! I think we are on to something this time! Read about our Messy House Weirdness HERE.

30 days 30 clics-Victory-Dream-Center

We do not talk about the other side of our family's calling very often here on FrontlineMoms. Victory Dream Center is our local mission outreach here in southern Illinois where we assist families who are broken, hungry, wounded, and lost. Here in our region 1 in 4 children suffer from food insecurity. Because of that great need our local body changed its focus and began an aggressive food ministry a couple years ago. In March, we celebrated our first 1,000,000 pounds of food distributed!

Because of our success in effective distribution, we were nominated by the St. Louis Area Foodbank to compete in a national contest for a Wal Mart grant of $20,000! That amount of money would be huge for us funding about a year of food distribution!

WE NEED YOUR HELP!

To win, we need people to vote for us through a Facebook campaign. The 60 agencies of the 190 contestants that receive the most votes in the month of April wins. Each of us may vote once a day for 30 days (must be 18 or older to vote).

WILL YOU HELP US?

Here is how:

1. Go here to vote today.

2. Vote again every day this month.

 

HERE IS HOW YOU CAN HELP US EVEN MORE

1. Forward this post to your friends and ask their help.

2. Share us on Facebook. Go to http://www.facebook.com/victorydreamcenter

3. Invite your friends.  Go to https://www.facebook.com/events/159602370866784/

4. Ask your blogging friends if they would share this contest on their blog.

5. Put this announcement in your church bulletin or bulletin board.

6. Pray for God's favor and provision!

If you have questions, you can contact me at Lisacherry9@aol.com

God bless you for helping children and families!

Linking up with:

Tell Me a Story    The Better Mom