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big mouth 837375_mouthBy Lisa Cherry

Here's one of the best of Lisa's past posts, which has now been updated.  It was first published on April 14, 2012.  -Admin

I have written about the awful problem of parenting mess-ups. Perhaps you are like me and would really like to reduce your goofs!

As I was praying one morning the Lord reminded me through scripture of one of my biggest obstacles to quality parenting: An unrestrained mouth!

I can certainly relate to James' description of the tongue as being tougher for man to tame than the fiercest wild animal!

Seems like when I try to do the job of containing my words on my own, that is when I keep opening mouth and inserting foot!

But the good news for us parents is ...we are not on our own! God can and will give us the power to speak words of life instead of words of death over our kids, if we will take His power His way.

My best suggestion to tapping into His resource? Begin to let His words begin to do their supernatural work over your mouth. God's word is living and active and able to produce results in my life.

I have a scripture confession that I speak over myself every morning, as a prayer of declaration. Here’s the part about my mouth:

You’ve put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to my God. (Ps 40:3)

His praise will always be on my lips. (Ps 34:1)

May my lips overflow with praise. (Ps 119:171)

I will put a muzzle on my mouth, and I will keep my tongue from sin. (Ps 39:1)

I will not let this book of the law depart from my mouth. (Joshua 1:8)

I keep my lips from speaking lies. (Ps 34:13)

I keep a tight rein on my tongue. (James 1:26)

The Lord is my help for no man can tame the tongue. (James 3:8)

I have wisdom, she is my sister and the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Pro 12:18)

I only speak that which is good to edifying. (Eph 4:29)

If you earnestly pray this every day, the truth of His ways will get into you, and you, too, will begin to see changes in your own life. I am certain of this!

The full version of my confession starts on page 197 of my book, UnMask the Predators.

 

Read Part 1 and Part 2 of Cleaning Up After Messy Parenting Moments.

 

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danger high voltage 650848_danger_signBy Lisa Cherry

Tough issues. They come up around our house all the time.  Common things like....

Wrong movie requests
Corrections about clothing
Sibling putdowns between young teens arising from an insecure heart
Sloppy room maintenance
Failing to complete homework assignments
Mean-spirited reactions

Sometimes these"hot button issues" are not all that intellectually challenging. I can see easily we have a problem. But confrontations with our kids can quickly ignite and escalate.

And I can sense the emotional fallout from my parent misstep could cost us dearly. 

I've made my share of badly timed, angry confrontations over such issues. How about you?

After 28 years of mothering here are some of my best keys to success:

1. Listen to the Holy Spirit when he gives you a warning about some behavior in your child. But don't run your mouth the instant you hear the warning.

2. After the warning, comes the season of prayer. Ask specifically… God, what do I do?

3. Deal with your emotions with God before you approach your child. If I am wanting to change their behaviors because of MY embarrassment, I am out of order.

4. Think about dirty diapers. They were a nuisance.... but expected. Tough meetings with our kids are much the same way. Remember how we learned not to give our motions away to dirty diapers?

5. Ask God for apples of gold in settings of silver. Speaking the right words in the prepared timing will produce Godly results.

6. Mature out of the fantasy that every encounter with your child will feel pleasant. Do you feel good about difficult meetings with your boss?

7. Go ahead and look to the future...... when the problem is solved and the relationship feels better.

8. Determine in your heart before your meeting to express your love to your child. However, do not expect them to be ready to return positive emotion on the spot. Sometimes emotions take time.

9. Stick to God's plan. Once you've prayed, received His wisdom, and made your decision don't be distracted or fearful to act.

10. Laugh and celebrate the victory in advance!  God causes us to triumph. This will be yet one more testimony of God's grace in your family.

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I hate it when I behave like a nine-year-old.

Last week an argument broke out in the living room. My motherly counsel was needed. So I arrived on the scene with intent to calm the storm. Continue reading “When Anger Flares, Grab the Gentleness: Wisdom Wednesday” »

Here’s an idea that might just get your kids’ attention. Don’t yell at them when they break the rules. Instead, quietly and calmly speak to them about their behavior, and let the consequences that you have already determined have their intended effect.

  Home School Legal Defense Association recently published an article in their Early Years email newsletter that illustrated the rationale for this. Continue reading “Try This at Home: A Calm Response to Rule-Testing” »

When the phrase “Been there, done that, got the t-shirt” first became popular several years ago, I laughed along with everyone else. Thought it was clever. Thought I could identify with the sentiment.

So I tried it out with my own mouth. But immediately after I launched it, I was uncomfortable. Where did that come from? Continue reading “Wisdom Wednesday: No More Been There, Done That” »