Archives For Parenting Teens

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How would you like your kids to use their phones to exchange texts, photos and videos anonymously with random strangers within your community?

Unfortunately, there’s an app for that… in fact, quite a few.

One of our Frontline Moms sent me Kira Lewis’ very helpful post The Worst Apps for Kids

Keeping up with teenagers and their apps can be a daunting task! I loved getting this simple-to-use list.

After all, most parents do not have time to keep up on all the new apps....that are springing up constantly. But rest assured, our kids learn about them very easily.

There are even apps that hide apps, so that parents cannot see what apps their kids have!

Here’s an important key: Get into your kids’ phones’ settings and assign a password so that they will not be able to download any apps without your permission. Kira tells us how to do this in her post.

Image Credit: Caroline “Maddie” via Flickr Creative Commons
 License: Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

 

 

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This is big. In fact it is one of the most ambitious projects I have ever attempted. And I am looking to your help!!!

After the huge interest in the article I wrote titled An Open Letter To my Fellow Homeschool Parents, I knew we were called to do more to protect kids and families. So we have been working very hard to put together a nationwide event.

We have secured extremely qualified experts.

Put together a line up of powerful topics.

And are now passing the word to everyone we know.

WILL YOU HELP US GET THE WORD OUT TO YOUR CONTACTS BY SHARING THIS PUBLICITY?  (Friends, family, coop groups, churches.....)

If we will educate ourselves......and upgrade our policies.....we can keep our kids safe!

Make your plans to join us for the live interviews. And for the ones you can't make, make your plans to check out the archives on our site later.

Schedule for the week: http://frontlinefamilies.org/home/sexual-abuse-prevention-week-for-homeschoolers

Here is a link to Kalyn and Lisa's  interview on The Herman Show:
http://youtu.be/fNHgt_Mf-_E?list=PLvh66C3m2Ft_t5nsCU706Rros9aB3aHUg

Call or email me if you have questions about the event or special ideas about spreading the word about the event. lisa@frontlinefamilies.org.       800 213 9899

Thanks!

Lisa

Gratefully linked to:
Teaching What is Good
Good Morning Mondays
Modest Mondays
Titus 2 Tuesday
Finishing Strong Homeschooling Through Middle & High School

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By Lisa Cherry

Our faith should affect our decisions about with whom and when we will have sex. Wouldn’t you agree?  The Bible has plenty to say about this.

But evidently, many Christians are acting like atheists in regard to their sexual behavior.

According to the 2014 State-of-Dating report from ChristianMingle.com (an online Christian dating service), most Christian singles, aged 18 to 59—both men and women— admit that they would have sex before marriage—63% of them! 

Kenny Luck described this problem in his article Sexual Atheism: Christian Dating Data Reveals a Deeper Spiritual Malaise.

I was very intrigued with his conclusion that nine out of ten Christian singles are “sexual atheists.” 

Frontline parents, I suggest we take a look at this article, and the report it is based on. They are building a pretty significant case that today’s Christians have learned to compartmentalize faith as separate from sex.

Notice also in the article the change in female behavior.

As I consider the lives of my own children, I am more motivated to help them navigate this Christian attitude shift. My own teens and young adults need to be warned. "Normal Christian" values may not be what we think!

I suggest we hit these attitudes head-on in our home, in our youth groups, and in the church. I get the feeling that many today are biblically ignorant concerning this subject.

Don't forget our resource called Straight Talk in a Sex-Saturated Culture if you need a Bible study to help you get to some of these issues.

Here's some links for some previous blog posts that might also be of help.

80% of Young Evangelical Singles Having Sex? Is Abstinence Dead? 

Ten Things I Teach My Sons about Girls

The Top Ten Things I Want my Daughters to Know about Boys

Image: Christian Schulze  "Silhouette Kiss"
License: Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

Gratefully linked to:

Modest Mondays

Marriage Monday

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By Lisa Cherry

Looking for a great comeback to what your kids could be hearing about sex before marriage from teachers at school or among their own friends? 

I loved Matt Walsh's response to a letter from a teen wondering what to do with his teacher’s proclamations that "sex can be casual" and "abstinence is unrealistic".

This may be a great letter to share with your teens who are subject to mixed messages!

 

Image source: Woodley Wonder Works “Listening in science and math” via Flickr Creative Commons
License: Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

Related posts:
80% of Young Evangelical Singles Having Sex? Is Abstinence Dead?
Sex is Just Sex, if We’re Just Apes
Don’t Miss It: Straight Talk in a Sex-saturated Culture
Cohabitation: the New Dating?

Linked to
Women Helping Women
Making your Home Sing Monday
Modest Mondays
Titus 2sdays

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By Lisa Cherry

Surely, it has never been easier to live a secret life.

In fact, living multiple lives is just kind of expected.  Who we are at church...who we are at home...who we are at school or work....who we are online....these are each separate profiles with separate personalities, behaviors and standards. Right?

Or wrong?

Jesus did not have complimentary words for those striving to live double lives. (See Matthew 7:16 and 23:27-28)

A few weeks ago a close friend of mind was devastated to learn of her child's secret other life. When the hidden online accounts were reviewed, she found answers to questions she had not even dared to let herself ask. Immorality. Blasphemous darkness. Lewdness and rebellion. "How could my child have fooled me for so long?" she cried.

I understood the sting of her bitter tears. For I will forever remember the pain of discovering our daughter's secret other world.

I hated to even know what she had partaken of and a part of me wanted to run from the truth! But all secrets eventually come to an end and denial is never a helpful friend.

I asked myself a hundred times the question so many have asked me. "Lisa, did you not see the warning signs that Kalyn was hiding something? How could you not have known about her other life?"

That question used to haunt me. Now, it saddens me. But I have determined to learn from my errors.

Yes, I did miss some signs. I did ignore some things that I would later regret ignoring!

So, for all of us, I want to share some of the top ways I experienced myself or have learned from others about detecting when your child is leading two or more lives.

Maybe you can share some others with your fellow parents. Maybe you yourself have been enslaved by a double life and remember some of your own behaviors! Let's work together to box out the forces of darkness trying to deceive our kids.

1. Unexplained absences: Missing hours that are not reasonably explained are not a good sign. If the excuse is lame, do not receive it at face value. Investigate.

2. Wardrobe changes: Often our kids wear their new lives like a banner on their bodies. A style change often means more than just taste. They are making a statement. What or who is the statement? I discovered Kalyn's new desire to carry her backpack was so she could change her clothes after she left our house and before she arrived with her new "friends."

3. Silence: A person living a double life is often mentally and emotionally exhausted. It is easier to withdraw from social contact, throw up thick walls, and quit talking.

4. Changes in media tastes: Pressing past or sneaking around the family regulations on media rules such as movies, Internet, TV, or music is a significant warning sign. The kingdom of this world has a familiar sound and language. When your child's heart is attracted to darkness, it will show up in his tastes for entertainment.

5. Lies: Lying becomes a habit. Kalyn says she got so used to living her double life of deception, she found herself habitually lying about little insignificant things and then just laughing to herself. Never ignore a pattern of lying.

6. New friends: this seems obvious. Birds of a feather flock together. Face it. If the new friends have certain issues or problems you are seeing, your child's friends' parents may be noting the same thing....in your child!

7. Arguments that are out of character: "But mom, a little cussing is really not a big deal...." coming from a child who you have never heard use profanity. Perhaps cussing is normal in her other life!!   See Luke 6:45.

8. Eye rolling: Every teenager is tempted to dishonor their parents at times. But when you suddenly become the "enemy" in daily life, watch out. A guilty conscience will always look for a misplaced location to dump blame.

9. Suspicious online behaviors: Reluctance to reveal passwords to parents, quickly moving screens or signing off when you approach them, odd purchase orders showing up on your Amazon account. If your family's online behaviors are not in the light, chances are they are in the darkness! (Have you signed up for an internet monitoring service such as Covenant Eyes yet?) 

10. Underperforming or over-performing:  My friend's child's schoolwork fell way down. Kalyn's schoolwork went way up! A change will often mean something.

11. Obvious changes in sexual countenance: When sexual thoughts are being aroused somehow in a child's life, a teen will often exude sexual overtones both in dress, demeanor, speech, and behavior. Trust your gut instinct if you note a problem. And investigate. Wow, do I wish I would have followed this advice!

12. Physical problems: A double life is a stressed life. So is it any wonder that sicknesses follow the increased stress and pressure. Kalyn lost weight and suddenly needed naps. My friend's child had constant stomach complaints.

13. Loss of interest in spiritual things: It is not normal to dump God. But it is common to move away from Him when filled with guilt, fear, shame, or doubt.  The enemy is wooing our kids with promises of "freedom and fun" in the secret life. We, of course, know his plan to steal, kill, and destroy.

Have other ideas for detecting a double life? Post them in our comments!

 See the next two posts in this series:
A Double Life, Part 2: The Breakthrough Prayer to Pray Over Your Kids

A Double Life, Part 3–When the Secret is Out: Three Important Things to Do


Image source: Esparta Palma Flickr License:Attribution 2.0 Generic

 Linked to:
Faithful Friday
Fellowship Fridays
Essential Fridays
Faith Filled Friday