Archives For Parenting Teens

teen girl eyes averted 4978095475_83fa257ffcBy Lisa Cherry

When Ron Luce’s post Top 10 Ways to Kill Communication with Your Teen hit my email inbox, it also hit my heart!!!

Ron is the founder of Teen Mania Ministries, and he knows teens.

I have been guilty of killing communication with my own teens, how about you?

 I appreciated this excellent reminder list. I hope it will help you as you work to open up the heart connections in your home.

Click over to Ron's blog and read his post here.

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Kalyn Cherry Waller

By: Kalyn Cherry Waller
 
 
Have you ever had a heated discussion in your home about wardrobe choices? I know in my teen years, clothing became a source of regular disagreements between my parents and me. Often times, it became a downright ugly scene, ending with misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and rebellion mixed all together.
 
Many times there is such a disconnect between a parent's wisdom and a teen's desire to fit in, that common ground is hard to find.
 
If just the word "modesty" brings tension in your home, I encourage you not to give up on the issue. It is a hard topic, filled with sensitivities. But I believe God is able to help you guide your teen through clothing choices and even have the courage to draw the lines where the lines need drawn. I am very thankful my parents did just that!
 
Here is a great resource to help you get the conversation started:
 
http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/

 

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Right now we are offering our POTTS (Parents of Teens and Tweens) subscription for $15 instead of $20.  This is an annual subscription that includes ongoing support and monthly videos to help in your parenting journey.  The kit includes (1) Stick book, (1) 4-part DVD curriculum, Monthly Video Sessions, and Support from POTTS. You can find out more about our POTTS ministry HERE.

POTTS Parents of Tweens and Teens

 Sorry-apology

Using these most important 10 words with your child/teen can both open the door for a new season of relationship as well as usher in a chance to right a wrong parenting leadership course.

Last week as I was speaking to parents in Tampa, I felt to demonstrate to the parents how to properly implement changes in your home after The Lord has convicted you of a parenting error. We were talking about the issue of romance, dating, and relationships and pondering how many of us, at the conclusion of the conference, needed to go home and make some significant adjustments in our leadership. But how can you change when you know your teenager is going to use the "you already said!" argument as to why the new changes would be unfair.

One option would be to "lay down the new laws" and tell the teen they will just have to get used to the new ways.  Another would be to ease in some minor, watered down version of the needed changes so as to not ruffle the teen's feathers. But my best key for those parents was a third option.

Start with sincere humility. Admit and confess your parenting failure both to the Lord and to your family. Take ownership in the error as you ask your child's forgiveness for the wrong leadership direction. Then try saying something like this....

"Son or daughter.......The Lord has convicted me of this error and He is also helping me to gain wisdom for a new direction. I am thinking this may not be an easy change for either of us so please pray for me to choose wisely now."

Perhaps a few more days will pass before it seems prudent to come back for the next step.

"Son, I believe I am seeing some new direction for us now. I am so encouraged how God has answered my prayer to assist you in establishing a healthy foundation for marriage in your future. Here is our next step in that process........"

Then as you lay out the new rule/procedure/law you can hopefully pull your teen onto the same team with you in a quest to seek the Lord's best.

With humility and cleansing comes a greater grace to walk in the Lord's grace. (James 4:6)

Kalyn Cherry Waller

By Lisa Cherry

Such was the expressed feeling of two different moms who contacted me in the last 24 hours. Christian moms who have worked very hard to instill a love for Jesus and a biblical worldview in the lives of their sons. Both went to the cost and sacrifice of providing a Christian based education for their children and yet both boys were in trouble and both moms were reaching out for help.

Mom #1

Her son recently shocked her by coming out of the closet with an openly gay lifestyle. As her world was shattered she was struggling to understand how her son, who still professed a love for God and even still acknowledged that his choices were sinful in the eyes of the Father, could continue along his destructive path.

Mom #2

Her son was exhibiting a much more "minor" problem. He was simply accusing his loving Christian parents of being judgmental when they said he could not attend the secular band with the objectionable lyrics concert. "Why, how can anyone know what is in a person's heart?" he queried. "And besides, who are we to know whether someone with some sexual issues would be kept out of heaven by God?"

Folks, these two cases are not at all unusual. I hear piles of similar stories week after week. But be honest. Were you not tempted to react to mom#1 story with a horrified gasp and mom#2 story with a bored yawn?

Today, I am challenging you to notice the connection between the two stories. Deception is working overtime on our kids' minds and souls. This week, I was studying a recent book by George Barna called Futurecast. His survey of our teens and young twenties was staggering. Only 1% of our kids' generation has a biblical worldview. That means they have adopted a basic Christian set of bible doctrines (not postmodern reasoning) as their foundation for decision making.

1%???

With statistics like that, I am certain many of us could find ourselves in the coming days shouting what mom #1 and mom#2 did! "I thought I knew them....but I didn't!"

Are you confident you know what your children are truly absorbing and believing in our postmodern generation gone haywire? Are you engaging them in meaningful and revealing dialogues that would give you a chance to assess their belief systems? Are you praying over their lives for everything that is in the darkness of their hearts, souls, and minds to be brought to the light so that you and The Lord may help them mature their faith choices?

Or are you simply hoping that what you see on the outside is a good enough show to be real?

I am so proud that mom #2 has correctly identified her conversation with her son as a crisis needing her immediate attention. Right now I guarantee that mom #1 would encourage her to seek The Lord for help NOW....not later!

Please, please take this warning seriously. This blog is filled with back issues that can help equip you in assessing your home. Remember when you are parenting your precious teens that they are the same ones you knew as toddlers waiting for you to make sense out of the world for them! Will you ask Him today for the tools that you will need.....and spend the effort and focus it takes to assist your children?

Full Repair??

admin —  April 21, 2013

Repair Shampoo

by Doug Cherry

I showered this morning and did what millions of men across America will do today.  I picked up my wife's shampoo to use on my own hair.  As I looked at the name of the shampoo it inspired hope!  Could this shampoo really live up to its name?   You can see from the top of my head a full repair (for me) would be a notable miracle.  It would take something almost the magnitude of raising Lazarus from the dead (after three days in the tomb).  I really do not have anything left to "repair," I need a full regeneration!Doug Cherry head
 
As I thought about the faith struggle to bring life from the very pits of death (hair from near total baIdness), I likened it to the plight of many parents I speak to as I travel across America who are in the middle of a teen crisis that looks pretty much impossible to heal.
 
We were in that sort of a crisis a few years ago.  It looked like we were down for the final count.  But God had a different plan.  We watched Him snatch our teen daughter out of the jaws of depression, rebellion, eating disorders, self mutilation, and hopelessness.  He did a "Full Repair" on our family.
 
He is in the business of bringing life out of the cold grave.  He wants to do that for you as well.  We are praying for you today.  Let us know what your family needs so that we know exactly how to pray.
 
Doug Cherry
Author of "Stick - Making the Handoff to the Next Generation"
Cofounder of POTTS (Parents Of Teens and Tweens)
Pastor - Victory Dream Center of Southern Illinois

If you are not a current subscriber of POTTS we invite you to join this month and be a catalyst for Godly parenting across the nation.

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Right now we are offering our POTTS (Parents of Teens and Tweens) subscription for $15 instead of $20.  This is an annual subscription that includes ongoing support and monthly videos to help in your parenting journey.  The kit includes (1) Stick book, (1) 4-part DVD curriculum, Monthly Video Sessions, and Support from POTTS. You can find out more about our POTTS ministry HERE.

POTTS Parents of Tweens and Teens