Archives For parenting

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Parents, even if your children are not in a public school, this story is still important to us! I encourage you to take a look at this link:

Parents angry after school tells 13-year-olds they can have sex, choose gender

This article gives a clear explanation of Planned Parenthood’s overt agenda targeting this young generation, as illustrated by a violation of students in a California public school.

Especially take a look at the handouts given to the students. The "Genderbread Person" handout reveals why so many of our Christian kids are getting confused right now about the issues of gender!!!

This notion of gender as an expression of choice is seeping into the mainstream understanding in their generation via the media and educational systems. It is very important that we are counter this wrong understanding in our sex education of our own kids.

The other handout “Are You Ready for Sex?” reflects the new emphasis in preventing date rape. The issue of consent is being dissected and taught in a very dangerous way.

Please join me in praying for these parents who are resisting this effort by Planned Parenthood.

P.S.: When you see us use the designation “Parent Alert” in our post title, it is because of important content that parents need to know....but not kids!

Image: Tiny Insomniac “Matilda ft. Clinton, Charlotte and Sam” via Flickr Creative Commons
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Ok. If you clicked on this title, you may already be under some fear...or some conviction!

Here is what I know as a mom of many children:

I love each of children completely.

I would die for each of my children without question.

And even the accusation of me having a "favorite" child hurts my mom heart!

So if that is the case, how could I make one of our children the family scapegoat?

The word "scapegoat" comes from the story found in the Old Testament in Leviticus 16.

In the sacrifice system God enacted to cover the sins of the nation of Israel, the priests were commanded to ceremonially transfer the sins of the people to a goat. The goat was then released into the wilderness, thereby bearing the weight of the nation's guilt.

We need to understand that Jesus was our scapegoat. He bore the guilt of all our sins and our children’s sins, for “the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” Isaiah 53:6

But when dealing with conflict and failure within our families, there is something in us that still wants to assign blame.

In some families there is one person who is always blamed for problems and thereby carries the weight of the blame.... even when the problem is not truly that person's fault! This is called “scapegoating.”

Obviously, scapegoating a child is very, very dangerous to a child's development! It could lead to shame, guilt, broken relationships, depression, and a whole list of terrible issues.

If a parent makes one child a scapegoat, it can become a family tradition, with the other parent and the siblings joining in. If the family system is deeply involved in "scapegoating," they most assuredly need some serious help.

But what if the problem of "scapegoating" is happening in subtle ways that are not so easy to see?

* The kid who struggles most with remembering to clean up after himself gets blamed automatically in our mind when any mess appears.

* The argumentative child that seems to pick fights easily with his siblings gets blamed instantly when any kid disruption arises.

*The always-late child gets blamed when the family runs behind in getting to church (even when everyone else was slow to get to the car.)

Scapegoating can happen just because it seems so logical; we are busy and don't take time to collect all the facts!

So what can we do? Here are my 5 thoughts....and maybe you can think of more:

1.  Stay alert!
Since we know this can happen, we must keep a watchful eye on ourselves.

2. Have the same heart as Jesus.
Compassionate and just. Ever loving, truthful and forgiving.

3. Bring this issue into the light.
Talk about it as a family. Express a desire for your family to avoid this unhealthy and ungodly temptation to scapegoat anyone.

4. Stop it immediately.
When you note a subtle—or not so subtle—case of scapegoating happening, stop it in its tracks. That will take the wisdom and power of the Holy Spirit! Pray for the grace to break the cycle of singling out and blaming the scapegoated child. Forge a new family tradition of respect and love for each member, even when dealing with conflict, failure and disappointment.

5. Repent and let it go.
Sometimes after the problem of scapegoating has been resolved, the conflict lingers on because of hurt, bitterness, and unforgiveness. Help your family to get a fresh start with proper repentance. Ask the Lord to help you speak genuine, loving words of affirmation to all your children, including the one who was previously scapegoated. Then trust God to renew your relationships and write a new chapter in your family's life!


Image: Gianluca Ruggiero “Scapegoat” via Flickr Creative Commons
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Gratefully linked to:  Making your Home Sing Monday

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How would you like your kids to use their phones to exchange texts, photos and videos anonymously with random strangers within your community?

Unfortunately, there’s an app for that… in fact, quite a few.

One of our Frontline Moms sent me Kira Lewis’ very helpful post The Worst Apps for Kids

Keeping up with teenagers and their apps can be a daunting task! I loved getting this simple-to-use list.

After all, most parents do not have time to keep up on all the new apps....that are springing up constantly. But rest assured, our kids learn about them very easily.

There are even apps that hide apps, so that parents cannot see what apps their kids have!

Here’s an important key: Get into your kids’ phones’ settings and assign a password so that they will not be able to download any apps without your permission. Kira tells us how to do this in her post.

Image Credit: Caroline “Maddie” via Flickr Creative Commons
 License: Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)



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What I heard yesterday, every parent in America today needs to hear. I mean that sincerely.

All of our sessions in the National Sexual Abuse Prevention Week have been extremely helpful to Doug and me. We strongly urge you to take advantage of the archived tapes.

Today I am sending a special plug for the one with Angela Williams of Voice Today. Her message is called The Grooming Mystery

Angela and my daughter Kalyn describe for us, using their own personal stories, how they were controlled by their perpetrators.

And what they tell you will definitely affect how you protect your children. Please, invest the time to listen.

If I had only heard this message 13 years ago....oh how differently my family's story could have been.

Love you all... and praying this week for your children's safety.

Will you pass this audio link to 3 friends??


Image Credit: Robert the Noid “A reflection of myself....” via Flickr Creative Commons
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I saw an advertising post online this morning that said...

How to DOUBLE Your Freelance Projects.

It was just a random ad pop up from a marketing site ....but the phrase struck in my mind.

Everyone is interested in DOUBLING their effectiveness. Right?

So I got to thinking. How would I DOUBLE my effectiveness today as a parent?? Could that be done????

My conclusion was ... YES!
And the good news is I already know how to do it!! (And if you thought just a moment, I bet you do too.)

Here are my 3 Keys. Read them. Try them....and then let's see if I am right.

1. Start my day with prayer....

Specific prayer about specific needs… And also general prayer that puts me a posture to listen to God all day long.

2.  Prioritize my job....

It is so easy to just do the "maintenance" work of parenting day in and day out, without ever getting to the MOST important thing of the job.

We already know what we need to do. It might be a strategic hug or a conversation. Whatever it is, do the highest priority thing FIRST today.

3.  Smile. Laugh. Enjoy your family....

This is a very simple principle that often escapes us as we are working so hard to parent our kids. The joy of the Lord is our STRENGTH. (Nehemiah 8:10)

If we want greater effectiveness, we need greater strength. The God kind of strength!

Pretty simple. But you can change your whole home atmosphere almost immediately when you tap into JOY as a parent!

So those are my 3. What do you think?

Do they work????


Image: sean dreilinger “rachel and her boys on the back deck…” via Flickr Creative Commons
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