Archives For premarital sex

wedding 8894242880_5459a99823_z

I need to constantly update my understanding about healthy sexuality.

I recognize that I am raising children in the middle of a sex-saturated, perverse culture. My children will need greater help from me if they are to maintain purity before marriage and commitment after marriage.

This article titled Sex Before Marriage Rewires Your Brain caught my attention.

I believe the information contained in this research-based study will equip us to love our spouses more fully today and to equip our children for the future.

Take a look and see what you think.


Image: Tobias Gronemeyer “Wedding Hochzeit Hochzeitsfotograf” via Flickr Creative Commons
License: Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic


 bed red with bear 4274437849_35fa0d33dc_m

I saw this Huffington Post article last week:

When Your Teen Wants to Have Sex in Your Home

Surely the article title was a trick, I reasoned.

But it wasn't a trick.

The author was actually proposing that parents allow their teens to invite their "partners" to sleepover.

The author proposed a list of questions the "wise" parent should consider before agreeing to the sexual contact arrangement such as....

"How well does your child know his or her partner? Is it a happy, committed relationship, or just a fling? Can your child handle the emotions of a sexual relationship? Are they putting themselves at risk of a sexually-transmitted disease or pregnancy? And...

Do they really want to have sex?"

Ok. Where do I start? I really need to start?

As I pondered this sad state of our current parenting culture, I wondered how this advice could be popular enough for even Huffington Post.

And I immediately thought of 4 reasons:

1. Parents themselves are living in such sexual sin that they do not feel they can say "no" to their kids without being hypocritical.

2. Parents do not know what science has proven about the immature impulses of the adolescent brain

3. The modern "rights" and "entitlement" philosophies are overrunning parental common sense.

4. A Biblical worldview is so far from what today’s parents see as normal that it would not be even be considered. It has either been discarded as outmoded, or it was never even on their radar screen.

So.... are we are now sufficiently warned?

If we are currently raising teens, maybe we had best understand our own peers—not just our kids' peers.

The parents or our kids’ friends are exposed to this convoluted reasoning. And some are embracing it.

We must not give in to the peer pressure!

But we must realize that a parent of our child’s friend may be agreeing to their teen’s request to a sleepover without even discussing it with us. Some might consider it “bad form” to break confidence with their teen.

Are you as alarmed as I am?

Please take time to read Barrett Johnson’s When Your Teenager Wants to Have Sex in Your Home: A Biblical Response. His article is an excellent resource of reasoning on this topic.

We are in the middle of a culture war and I am not going to sit on the sidelines. I’ve written about this in my book Not Open: Win the Invisible Spiritual Culture War, which I coauthored with my son Lucas.

Have you read it yet?

not open book transparent

Here is what one reader said recently after she bought it for her family:

"I read Not Open this week. Thank you ! Thank you!!!! This book needs to be in the hands of every parent.

We are at war, and it's so easy for the truth to get lost in the culture.

God bless you and thank you for listening and praying, and for investing in the lives of other parents.

- Kathy (Alabama)



Image: gorgeoux “bed made with bear”
License: Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)


 Gratefully linked to:
Modest Mondays
Wedded Wednesday

Student female -2  in class 8081866307_ab175f549c

By Lisa Cherry

Looking for a great comeback to what your kids could be hearing about sex before marriage from teachers at school or among their own friends? 

I loved Matt Walsh's response to a letter from a teen wondering what to do with his teacher’s proclamations that "sex can be casual" and "abstinence is unrealistic".

This may be a great letter to share with your teens who are subject to mixed messages!


Image source: Woodley Wonder Works “Listening in science and math” via Flickr Creative Commons
License: Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

Related posts:
80% of Young Evangelical Singles Having Sex? Is Abstinence Dead?
Sex is Just Sex, if We’re Just Apes
Don’t Miss It: Straight Talk in a Sex-saturated Culture
Cohabitation: the New Dating?

Linked to
Women Helping Women
Making your Home Sing Monday
Modest Mondays
Titus 2sdays

Purity-RingsBy Lisa Cherry

Is it possible to maintain your virginity before marriage in America today? Is it even desirable to the average Christian?

When the National Association of Evangelicals released a video reporting a statistic saying 80% of young evangelicals have engaged in premarital sex, and almost a third of evangelicals’ unplanned pregnancies end in abortion, even abstinence proponents must ask themselves these questions.

Urban Faith’s Chanel Graham reflected on this issue in her post Why Unmarried Christians Are Having Sex. I felt she had some good points.  Obviously, we are going to have to do more than tell our kids NO! and slap purity rings on their fingers. They need a positive vision for something higher.

In my day of youth, our big issue was gateway drugs. Not that we do not have drug and alcohol problems today! But it seemed back a generation that drugs were the entry point to a shifting lifestyle change.

Could it be that SEX is the issue of today’s generation? SEX is the gateway to a shifting lifestyle change. Today our MORALS are driving our Theology so that God is seen as OK with “loving relationships sharing intimacy.”

Frontline moms, you may wonder why we talk about sexual issues so much here. Let me tell you a few why’s: (I have made up names to protect identities!)

Molly:  Raised in church. Attended youth and Sunday School faithfully. Homeschooled. Sheltered from immorality. Left home without parental blessing at high school graduation after she became sexually active with her secret boyfriend.

Jennifer:  Raised by her Christian mother after her father left the scene. Attended youth and Sunday School faithfully. Went on mission trips. Acted like she wanted a life with God. Got caught messing around with neighborhood boys. Left home for a fresh start with relatives. Ended up moving in with her new boyfriend.

Abigail:  Wanted a husband that would honor God. Built her young womanhood by standing with a strong Christian crowd. Sang on the worship team and taught Sunday School. Got tired of waiting for God’s man, and moved in with a boy younger than her. Left church. Turned from God.

These are but three young lives I know personally who became the NAE statistic.

Moms, we must learn to do more. Sex is killing our kids!

Let’s continue to seek God’s wisdom here. I would love to hear from some moms out there.

How ARE WE going to get our kids to the wedding as virgins? I am not ready to say it is not possible! I have watched my own kids make it….but I am ready to say it is VERY DIFFICULT!

Image courtesy of Wikipedia