Archives For sex education

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Warning: this post contains a link to a sex education article meant for Parent eyes only.

As we launch into a new school year, now is the time to update our own sex education plans for our children. But what if someone other than ourselves already has a plan on their behalf?

While the whole nation has been talking about Planned Parenthood's barbaric and immoral and illegal abortion practices, perhaps the other side to their shady existence is being hidden or ignored.

According to their own website, “Planned Parenthood is the largest provider of comprehensive sex education in our communities.”

When I read Planned Parenthood’s ‘Sexual Rights’ For Children excerpting from their own sex education manual, I was completely stunned. If you are a parent please take a moment and click on the link. Here are two quotes that I knew I needed to read:

“It is important for all young people around the world to be able to explore, experience and express their sexualities in healthy, positive, pleasurable and safe ways. This can only happen when young people’s sexual rights are guaranteed.”

“There is a common assumption that young people are incapable of making decisions for themselves, so parents or other adults should have full authority over decisions related to their sexuality. Resistance to recognize young people’s sexuality and their decision-making abilities makes the realization of young people’s sexual rights all the more challenging…In all situations, the evolving capacities of young people to autonomously exercise their rights must be recognized.”

Maybe you're immediately saying to yourself… "This doesn't affect me because my children are not in public school. Or "this doesn't affect me because we already made sure that Planned Parenthood is not doing our sex education." To which I would say great! But perhaps we had better understand that other children our own kids play with, read about, or watch on TV have been indoctrinated by this powerful education source!

In other words… If there is one "common core sex education manual" in America surely this would be it. They are that powerful.

So what do we do as parents?

Each of us must make his/her own decision but I am suggesting that you inform your children about what Planned Parenthood does in their programs. You do not need to give them graphic details that are not appropriate, but letting them know the values and some of these direct quotes could be critical and equipping them to stand firm in the midst of confusing morals hitting their own Temptation button. Unfortunately, the sexual mores of a high percentage of Americans have been fashioned by Planned Parenthood’s godless, corrupt agenda.

Parents and grandparents, we need to pray. We also need to support efforts to defund Planned Parenthood as courageous lawmakers pursue that action later this month. At stake here are not only the precious lives of the unborn, but also the souls and mental health of children.

 

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The Sex Ed Book List I Promised

I have intentionally been doing some parental "continuing education" on the topic of how to talk to your kids about sexuality. In last Monday's post, Sex Education: 8 keys to talking to your children, I mentioned I had been doing some reading. Some of you messaged me wanting to know what I had been reading, so today I am sharing some of the resources I have been reviewing. Some of them were new to my library....and some were trusted standbys that I reviewed with fresh eyes.

Please do not take this as an exhaustive list. In fact, I will be adding to it over time. But each of these titles has been significant to me, so perhaps they will also help you!

I cannot endorse every idea in all these resources. Please note that I believe there is a great deal of room for parental style in how to present this issue! Take what you like and leave the rest....that is what I do when I read parenting books under the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

Books Lisa has been reading lately (Click on cover picture to order):

Books to read with kids:

Why Boys and Girls are Different by Carol Greene

The Story of Me by Stan and Brenna Jones

Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge

The Wonderful Way Babies are Made by Larry Christenson

What's the Big Deal? Why God Cares About Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones

Before I Was Born by Carolyn Nystrom

I have used each of these resources with my kids at different stages. I think they can each be effective in their own way.

Books to learn more as a parent:

Every Young Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge: This is a great discussion starter with your girls that includes a section for mom ...and then a section for mom (or dad) and daughter.

Beautifully Made: 1 Approaching Womanhood;
2 Celebrating Womanhood
edited by Julie Hiramine

Guardians of Purity by Julie Hiramine
A new read for me. Excellent book! I loved it!

Preparing for Adolescence by Dr. James Dobson
This is a classic! It is so helpful to review the growth and development needs of your kids on a regular basis.

A Covenant with My Eyes by Bob Sorge
Wow ! This takes issues of purity straight to the heart!

Talking to Your Kids About Sex by Mark Laaser Ph.D.
Great help for those coming to their parenting with wounds and hurts in their past. I didn't agree with all the conclusions in the last half, but I found it very helpful.

A Queer Thing Happened to America by Michael L Brown Ph.D.
I did not know the history of the gay agenda ....which is the history of the sexual pressures of this generation. I learned so much here that is helping me explain things to my kids.

Can You be Gay and Christian? By Michael L Brown Ph.D.
This book is a must if we are to handle the theological questions our kids are bound to ask in a rapidly shifting culture.

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Talking with our children about sexuality is sometimes hard. :)  In my last post, I explored the reasons why this important topic is so often avoided or put off.

I have already determined that I am going to talk about it even though it makes me uncomfortable.

My children are precious, and I will not leave them to find their own way about sex with the cultural mess we are facing. How about you?

Here are 8 keys for a successful plan.

 1. Make education your lifestyle rather than an event: The concept of "the big talk" is not realistic. For just as our children do not learn everything they need to know about history from one big talk, they will not learn everything about sexuality in one sitting.  

 2. Read up on the issue yourself: Just this past summer I read two books on Christian sexuality education and our kids. I know I need a continuing education on this topic, so I keep learning!

3. Find good resources for you and your children to share together: Do yourself a favor and put some tools in your hands. Of course, we want those resources to portray a biblical worldview!

4. Read the books aloud together: Let the author say the tough words for you.....but don't just toss the book at your child and leave the room. When the words come out of your mouth, it opens the door for the words to come out of your child's mouth when they have questions or issues.

5. Admit your nervousness: Remember it is okay that you feel nervous! I find it best to let my child know that I am nervous because this is a private topic, not because it is a "bad" topic. Let them know it is okay if they feel a little nervous too! It will put them at ease.

6. Do not demand eye contact: Young teens especially are self-conscious. It is all right if they do not make eye contact in these discussions or if they giggle or sigh. Let them deal with embarrassment their own way without reproving them. Sometimes a discussion in the car is good with all eyes facing forward. 

7. Use natural teachable moments: Daily life will give you a myriad of discussion starters. Use both the positive and the negative images around you to open the conversation lines. The more you do this, the more natural this will be. 

8. Read the Bible aloud: Do you realize how much of the Bible deals in one way or another with the issue of sexuality? Let the scriptures you read as a family lead you into teachable moments. Don't skip over the texts that are there to help us. (Try Proverbs 5 and you will see what I mean!)

When I talk about this list of suggestions with parents, I usually hear three common questions:

  1. What books and resources do you recommend?
  2. What should I tell my kids at what age?
  3. Which parent should talk about which issues with the kids?

 So those are the questions I am working on next........

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I was finishing my back-to-school plans this past weekend and decided to take a peek into how I was doing with each of my kids’ sex education.

Hmmm. I think each one of them is due for more conversation time with mom and even as I consider it, I must confess....I sometimes feel nervous!

Now, how could the lady who constantly writes about this issue still feel uncomfortable, you may ask?

I would say for these 5 Reasons ....

1. Sex is a personal issue.

In our sex-saturated culture, I still believe this is true... and should be true! God designed the beauty of sex to be shared only with our spouse. So the sense of embarrassment we feel is only natural. But this should not stop us from talking to our kids!

2. I want my privacy.

I want my kids to know that sex within marriage is GREAT.... but at the same time, I value my personal privacy with my husband. This quandary can, unless I work through it, cause me to keep quiet.

3. I don't want to mess it up.

Sexual values and standards are such a big deal. At the thought of discussing them I feel “performance anxiety.” I want to do this right! And anytime something is making me nervous, I am more prone to procrastination.

4. I am worried that I will violate their innocence.

What would I do if my kids asked a question that I do not know how to answer for their age? What if I give them too much information too soon, or answer it in a way that violates their innocence? Those two questions used to paralyze me with fear.

5. I have to face my own failures from the past.

I am grateful to have arrived at the marriage altar a virgin. But that does not mean I did not make mistakes that I deeply regret! Who wants to hear from your own kids...."but Mom, you did...?" Facing bad memories is never fun. But those memories can either taunt us or motivate us, I figure.

As our kids grow and mature, Doug and I want to be the ones who take the personal effort to talk with our kids! We know it is a matter of life and death!

So....that is why I have learned to carry my anxieties to the Lord and make those conversations happen in spite of my 5 hindrances.

So how about you? Will you join me in updating your sex ed strategies this year?

Come back next time and we will talk about....

 

Sex Education: 8 keys to talking to your children...even if you are nervous!

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shopping cart 291552_shopping_cartBy Lisa Cherry

I have rarely met a parent who did not experience some nervousness about the birds and the bees talk.  Explaining sexuality to our young ones, though it is absolutely our job, feels a little too up close and personal!  After all, as parents we want to think we can have some measure of privacy in our lives even if we have children of all ages interrupting our daily schedules!

I hope you had a chance to gain some insight from our featured columnist, Mark Gregston's recent article.  As Mark shared about the importance of open communication between parents and children, he raised an interesting question for us to address.  At what age should a Christian parent begin sex education with their child?

I think the most obvious answer to that is...you already have!

Every time our children go through a check out line, walk past a television, open an online computer session, or sit in a theater, they will be adding to their sexual education!  The real question is, whose voice will they hear the loudest and clearest?

While I have appreciated long and more formal "birds and the bees" discussions with my children, I think the teachable moment discussions that accompany real life encounters have by far had the greatest impact for shaping their views and values.  So my tip for parents of both teens or young children is:  Do not shy away, instead, embrace your opportunities!  If sex is a regular discussion topic in your home, you stay in the driver's seat of where they will go to get their questions answered.

In this day of sexual over-saturation, abuses, and perversions, we have no choice but to arm our children with enough information that they can maintain their God-given purity.  Notice I did not use the word innocence.  Just how innocent will our children be able to be in our culture today?  How I wish I could shield their eyes from all impurity, but, short of living in a cave on a deserted island, I do not believe that will be possible.  Therefore, we must arm them with wisdom and equip them with self-control.

I would love to hear from you about the teachable moments the Lord provides you to explain things to your kids.  We have had some outlandish moments at our house!  But I am grateful for every awkward question I have the privilege of fielding, even if they come in public...or at church!

Image courtesy of Pam Roth