Archives For sexuality

The Sex Ed Book List I Promised

I have intentionally been doing some parental "continuing education" on the topic of how to talk to your kids about sexuality. In last Monday's post, Sex Education: 8 keys to talking to your children, I mentioned I had been doing some reading. Some of you messaged me wanting to know what I had been reading, so today I am sharing some of the resources I have been reviewing. Some of them were new to my library....and some were trusted standbys that I reviewed with fresh eyes.

Please do not take this as an exhaustive list. In fact, I will be adding to it over time. But each of these titles has been significant to me, so perhaps they will also help you!

I cannot endorse every idea in all these resources. Please note that I believe there is a great deal of room for parental style in how to present this issue! Take what you like and leave the rest....that is what I do when I read parenting books under the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

Books Lisa has been reading lately (Click on cover picture to order):

Books to read with kids:

Why Boys and Girls are Different by Carol Greene

The Story of Me by Stan and Brenna Jones

Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge

The Wonderful Way Babies are Made by Larry Christenson

What's the Big Deal? Why God Cares About Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones

Before I Was Born by Carolyn Nystrom

I have used each of these resources with my kids at different stages. I think they can each be effective in their own way.

Books to learn more as a parent:

Every Young Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge: This is a great discussion starter with your girls that includes a section for mom ...and then a section for mom (or dad) and daughter.

Beautifully Made: 1 Approaching Womanhood;
2 Celebrating Womanhood
edited by Julie Hiramine

Guardians of Purity by Julie Hiramine
A new read for me. Excellent book! I loved it!

Preparing for Adolescence by Dr. James Dobson
This is a classic! It is so helpful to review the growth and development needs of your kids on a regular basis.

A Covenant with My Eyes by Bob Sorge
Wow ! This takes issues of purity straight to the heart!

Talking to Your Kids About Sex by Mark Laaser Ph.D.
Great help for those coming to their parenting with wounds and hurts in their past. I didn't agree with all the conclusions in the last half, but I found it very helpful.

A Queer Thing Happened to America by Michael L Brown Ph.D.
I did not know the history of the gay agenda ....which is the history of the sexual pressures of this generation. I learned so much here that is helping me explain things to my kids.

Can You be Gay and Christian? By Michael L Brown Ph.D.
This book is a must if we are to handle the theological questions our kids are bound to ask in a rapidly shifting culture.

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Talking with our children about sexuality is sometimes hard. :)  In my last post, I explored the reasons why this important topic is so often avoided or put off.

I have already determined that I am going to talk about it even though it makes me uncomfortable.

My children are precious, and I will not leave them to find their own way about sex with the cultural mess we are facing. How about you?

Here are 8 keys for a successful plan.

 1. Make education your lifestyle rather than an event: The concept of "the big talk" is not realistic. For just as our children do not learn everything they need to know about history from one big talk, they will not learn everything about sexuality in one sitting.  

 2. Read up on the issue yourself: Just this past summer I read two books on Christian sexuality education and our kids. I know I need a continuing education on this topic, so I keep learning!

3. Find good resources for you and your children to share together: Do yourself a favor and put some tools in your hands. Of course, we want those resources to portray a biblical worldview!

4. Read the books aloud together: Let the author say the tough words for you.....but don't just toss the book at your child and leave the room. When the words come out of your mouth, it opens the door for the words to come out of your child's mouth when they have questions or issues.

5. Admit your nervousness: Remember it is okay that you feel nervous! I find it best to let my child know that I am nervous because this is a private topic, not because it is a "bad" topic. Let them know it is okay if they feel a little nervous too! It will put them at ease.

6. Do not demand eye contact: Young teens especially are self-conscious. It is all right if they do not make eye contact in these discussions or if they giggle or sigh. Let them deal with embarrassment their own way without reproving them. Sometimes a discussion in the car is good with all eyes facing forward. 

7. Use natural teachable moments: Daily life will give you a myriad of discussion starters. Use both the positive and the negative images around you to open the conversation lines. The more you do this, the more natural this will be. 

8. Read the Bible aloud: Do you realize how much of the Bible deals in one way or another with the issue of sexuality? Let the scriptures you read as a family lead you into teachable moments. Don't skip over the texts that are there to help us. (Try Proverbs 5 and you will see what I mean!)

When I talk about this list of suggestions with parents, I usually hear three common questions:

  1. What books and resources do you recommend?
  2. What should I tell my kids at what age?
  3. Which parent should talk about which issues with the kids?

 So those are the questions I am working on next........

Image: The jbird via Flickr Creative Commons
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Whips and chains are not God's view of healthy sexuality. I am sure we can all agree.

But when the new video portrayal of the massively popular Fifty Shades of Gray  hits the airwaves, that is exactly what will be sold to the younger generation.

Charisma News wrote about this here, and Melissa Jenna blogged on it here.

I don't even want the trailer... let alone the movie!

With all the "empowerment of women" that is emphasized in our supposedly sexually modern culture, it is shocking to me that this image could prevail.

But why should I be surprised? For truly sexual immorality victimizes the hearts of women and men.

So what do we do? Will this imagery seep close to our children? If so, we had better make a strong clarifying statement!

Image:  Send me adrift “february 12” via Flickr Creative Commons
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Summer is the time for me to refresh myself and review my priorities. Planning is on my agenda and I’m diving right into it.

School is coming soon, so I am asking myself:  

Am I taking care of some of the most important things my children need to know?

Today I am reviewing my list of Ten Things I Teach My Sons about Girls

…and Doug’s list of The Top Ten Things I Want my Daughters to Know about Boys.

Hmmmm. I am glad I looked at these posts again!

Hope they help you also.

Image: wsilver “ Kids on giant slip-n-slide” via Flickr Creative Commons
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Gratefully linked to:
Wholehearted Home Wednesday
Thriving Thursday

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I am so tired of having to write about this crazy stuff.

But once again, I realize I am going to have to explain another sick idea to my kids.

Not that they don't already know that the world is running amuck.

I agree with Jennifer LeClaire’s diagnosis in her article Can We Pray the Polyamory Away?   Our only real hope is to pray this stuff away.

“It's not only about setting the captives free,” she concludes, “it's about protecting the next generation of young minds the media is molding.”

But in the meantime, turn over to 1 Corinthians 7:2 and 1 Timothy 3:2.  Read them together and then go ahead and explain the word that the networks are throwing at us.

Image: Mary: “Polyamory contigent, San Francisco Pride, June 2009” via Flickr Creative Commons
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