Archives For sexuality

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I need to constantly update my understanding about healthy sexuality.

I recognize that I am raising children in the middle of a sex-saturated, perverse culture. My children will need greater help from me if they are to maintain purity before marriage and commitment after marriage.

This article titled Sex Before Marriage Rewires Your Brain caught my attention.

I believe the information contained in this research-based study will equip us to love our spouses more fully today and to equip our children for the future.

Take a look and see what you think.


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All week long I have watched the national outcry against today's release of the movie version of 50 Shades of Gray.

J. Lee Grady made an accurate assessment in his post: Let’s Call 'Fifty Shades of Grey' What It Is: Perverted.

I am pleased to see many are speaking out against it, so I thought maybe I need not comment.

However there are 3 problems that we as Frontline Moms and Dads should consider:

1. 50 Shades is Slipping into the Youth Culture: Even when we do not see a movie or even like its message, our media-saturated culture makes it almost impossible to escape the trendy themes. That is scary in this case, isn't it?

 Teens watch movies—lots of them, and what they watch influences their behavior

Check out this story of how middle school students in Pennsylvania have jumped on the 50 Shades bandwagon. Note the posters and clips all around us. Expect the terminology to sneak in, much like the Twilight phenomenon did…

2. Our kids will not understand this movie's perversion: None of us want our kids to be introduced to this violent, perverse sexuality. But their friends know about it and many even think it is “cool.” Will they be able to resist this pressure?

I am going to inform my older kids about this in a non-descriptive, general way to make sure they are not caught off guard.

3. The movie will come out in video: About the time we are all done talking about it and complaining, the movie will pop up in Wal-Mart, Red Box, and grocery stores. We must all be on guard! Many teens will happen on it once it is in home viewing capability.

Will you join me in prayer for our nation's children and teens to be protected from this vile attack on their innocence?


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Parents, even if your children are not in a public school, this story is still important to us! I encourage you to take a look at this link:

Parents angry after school tells 13-year-olds they can have sex, choose gender

This article gives a clear explanation of Planned Parenthood’s overt agenda targeting this young generation, as illustrated by a violation of students in a California public school.

Especially take a look at the handouts given to the students. The "Genderbread Person" handout reveals why so many of our Christian kids are getting confused right now about the issues of gender!!!

This notion of gender as an expression of choice is seeping into the mainstream understanding in their generation via the media and educational systems. It is very important that we are counter this wrong understanding in our sex education of our own kids.

The other handout “Are You Ready for Sex?” reflects the new emphasis in preventing date rape. The issue of consent is being dissected and taught in a very dangerous way.

Please join me in praying for these parents who are resisting this effort by Planned Parenthood.

P.S.: When you see us use the designation “Parent Alert” in our post title, it is because of important content that parents need to know....but not kids!

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The Sex Ed Book List I Promised

I have intentionally been doing some parental "continuing education" on the topic of how to talk to your kids about sexuality. In last Monday's post, Sex Education: 8 keys to talking to your children, I mentioned I had been doing some reading. Some of you messaged me wanting to know what I had been reading, so today I am sharing some of the resources I have been reviewing. Some of them were new to my library....and some were trusted standbys that I reviewed with fresh eyes.

Please do not take this as an exhaustive list. In fact, I will be adding to it over time. But each of these titles has been significant to me, so perhaps they will also help you!

I cannot endorse every idea in all these resources. Please note that I believe there is a great deal of room for parental style in how to present this issue! Take what you like and leave the rest....that is what I do when I read parenting books under the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

Books Lisa has been reading lately (Click on cover picture to order):

Books to read with kids:

Why Boys and Girls are Different by Carol Greene

The Story of Me by Stan and Brenna Jones

Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge

The Wonderful Way Babies are Made by Larry Christenson

What's the Big Deal? Why God Cares About Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones

Before I Was Born by Carolyn Nystrom

I have used each of these resources with my kids at different stages. I think they can each be effective in their own way.

Books to learn more as a parent:

Every Young Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge: This is a great discussion starter with your girls that includes a section for mom ...and then a section for mom (or dad) and daughter.

Beautifully Made: 1 Approaching Womanhood;
2 Celebrating Womanhood
edited by Julie Hiramine

Guardians of Purity by Julie Hiramine
A new read for me. Excellent book! I loved it!

Preparing for Adolescence by Dr. James Dobson
This is a classic! It is so helpful to review the growth and development needs of your kids on a regular basis.

A Covenant with My Eyes by Bob Sorge
Wow ! This takes issues of purity straight to the heart!

Talking to Your Kids About Sex by Mark Laaser Ph.D.
Great help for those coming to their parenting with wounds and hurts in their past. I didn't agree with all the conclusions in the last half, but I found it very helpful.

A Queer Thing Happened to America by Michael L Brown Ph.D.
I did not know the history of the gay agenda ....which is the history of the sexual pressures of this generation. I learned so much here that is helping me explain things to my kids.

Can You be Gay and Christian? By Michael L Brown Ph.D.
This book is a must if we are to handle the theological questions our kids are bound to ask in a rapidly shifting culture.

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Talking with our children about sexuality is sometimes hard. :)  In my last post, I explored the reasons why this important topic is so often avoided or put off.

I have already determined that I am going to talk about it even though it makes me uncomfortable.

My children are precious, and I will not leave them to find their own way about sex with the cultural mess we are facing. How about you?

Here are 8 keys for a successful plan.

 1. Make education your lifestyle rather than an event: The concept of "the big talk" is not realistic. For just as our children do not learn everything they need to know about history from one big talk, they will not learn everything about sexuality in one sitting.  

 2. Read up on the issue yourself: Just this past summer I read two books on Christian sexuality education and our kids. I know I need a continuing education on this topic, so I keep learning!

3. Find good resources for you and your children to share together: Do yourself a favor and put some tools in your hands. Of course, we want those resources to portray a biblical worldview!

4. Read the books aloud together: Let the author say the tough words for you.....but don't just toss the book at your child and leave the room. When the words come out of your mouth, it opens the door for the words to come out of your child's mouth when they have questions or issues.

5. Admit your nervousness: Remember it is okay that you feel nervous! I find it best to let my child know that I am nervous because this is a private topic, not because it is a "bad" topic. Let them know it is okay if they feel a little nervous too! It will put them at ease.

6. Do not demand eye contact: Young teens especially are self-conscious. It is all right if they do not make eye contact in these discussions or if they giggle or sigh. Let them deal with embarrassment their own way without reproving them. Sometimes a discussion in the car is good with all eyes facing forward. 

7. Use natural teachable moments: Daily life will give you a myriad of discussion starters. Use both the positive and the negative images around you to open the conversation lines. The more you do this, the more natural this will be. 

8. Read the Bible aloud: Do you realize how much of the Bible deals in one way or another with the issue of sexuality? Let the scriptures you read as a family lead you into teachable moments. Don't skip over the texts that are there to help us. (Try Proverbs 5 and you will see what I mean!)

When I talk about this list of suggestions with parents, I usually hear three common questions:

  1. What books and resources do you recommend?
  2. What should I tell my kids at what age?
  3. Which parent should talk about which issues with the kids?

 So those are the questions I am working on next........

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