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danger high voltage 650848_danger_signBy Lisa Cherry

Tough issues. They come up around our house all the time.  Common things like....

Wrong movie requests
Corrections about clothing
Sibling putdowns between young teens arising from an insecure heart
Sloppy room maintenance
Failing to complete homework assignments
Mean-spirited reactions

Sometimes these"hot button issues" are not all that intellectually challenging. I can see easily we have a problem. But confrontations with our kids can quickly ignite and escalate.

And I can sense the emotional fallout from my parent misstep could cost us dearly. 

I've made my share of badly timed, angry confrontations over such issues. How about you?

After 28 years of mothering here are some of my best keys to success:

1. Listen to the Holy Spirit when he gives you a warning about some behavior in your child. But don't run your mouth the instant you hear the warning.

2. After the warning, comes the season of prayer. Ask specifically… God, what do I do?

3. Deal with your emotions with God before you approach your child. If I am wanting to change their behaviors because of MY embarrassment, I am out of order.

4. Think about dirty diapers. They were a nuisance.... but expected. Tough meetings with our kids are much the same way. Remember how we learned not to give our motions away to dirty diapers?

5. Ask God for apples of gold in settings of silver. Speaking the right words in the prepared timing will produce Godly results.

6. Mature out of the fantasy that every encounter with your child will feel pleasant. Do you feel good about difficult meetings with your boss?

7. Go ahead and look to the future...... when the problem is solved and the relationship feels better.

8. Determine in your heart before your meeting to express your love to your child. However, do not expect them to be ready to return positive emotion on the spot. Sometimes emotions take time.

9. Stick to God's plan. Once you've prayed, received His wisdom, and made your decision don't be distracted or fearful to act.

10. Laugh and celebrate the victory in advance!  God causes us to triumph. This will be yet one more testimony of God's grace in your family.

Linked to

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Lucas anti cursingBy Lisa Cherry

A few weeks ago one of my sons jumped out of his chair during a family Bible study/discussion time and shouted, “Guys, you do not even know what has been happening! You cannot believe the language the players on my Christian basketball team are using when the adults are not around. Something is not right here! I don’t think these kids are really Christian at all! Shouldn’t someone go and tell their parents what is really going on?”

I was proud of my young teen for raising this huge question. Many of his older siblings have also been facing this as they travel in the world’s corridors.

Foul language in today’s world is considered normal…..not shocking. The “f-bomb” that used to be reserved for the bar room is now even quasi accepted in the board room.

So parents, what are we to do? Give in to the cultural trend? Re-define the issue to make it easier on our kids? Or hold to traditional views of “no cussing allowed?”

Take a look at Lucas’ shirt that he came out with the other day. I did not know he owned it when I planned this post. Notice the old folks on the shirt. Is this issue just a generational style? Or is it a serious issue that will define our future together?

What are you doing in your home? I have thought of ten reasons why cussing is not OK for my family.  Do we as frontline moms need to have this discussion with our kids?

  1. Cussing is really “cursing” by a changed name.   It sounds a little softer and more refined, doesn’t it? But dropping the r does not change the meaning.
  2. Cursing is not understood in today’s world. “Damning” someone is reserved for God alone. It is the form of judging we are commanded NOT to do. God condemns, not us. Just because someone drops some of the wording in “cussing” (as in G--- D--- you) does not change the meaning. (Odd that the same people who freely misquote Matthew 7:1 about judging not often have no trouble with the judging done when they curse.)
  3. Most forms of cursing imply sexual immorality. Ephesians 4:29-5:3 says we are to have no unwholesome words and not even a hint at sexual immorality.
  4. Our words overflow from our heart. Jesus said out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. YUCK! What is in the heart of the “cusser?” That is scary! Matthew 12:34
  5. Cussing is not loving. It is not kind and it is rude. See I Corinthians 13:4-7
  6. Using God’s name in vain is prohibited by the third Commandment. To take His name in vain is to use it in a casual manner. It shows lack of respect for Him. God’s name is holy, and should never be used as a swear word or an exclamation (not even in OMG!) See Exodus 20:7.
  7. We will be held accountable for our words before the Lord. See Matthew 12:36-37
  8. Cussing is an immature reaction to anger and is therefore foolishness. Foolishness is the opposite of wisdom. We are to put it off, not take it on. See Colossians 3:8.
  9. Swearing is another word for cursing. It is also expressly forbidden by Jesus. Matthew 5:34
  10. I cannot even fathom Jesus “cussing,” can you? So why would his representatives? 2 Corinthians 5:20

Those are my top ten. What are yours?

 

Linked to Hearts 4 Home, Encourage One Another, Welcome Home, Modest Mom, Better Mom, Tell Me a Story, Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday, TItus 2sdays, Teach Me Tuesdays, On Your Heart Tuesday, Loving Our Children Tuesday, Top Ten Tuesday Wise Woman.

Image courtesy of Jason Antony, stock.xchng

By Lisa Cherry

Arguments. Clashes. Cutting words. Petty disagreements. The afternoon wore on and on with grinding monotony.

Where were my normally sweet-natured children? Had they all taken some sort of “testy pill” that day that had transformed them into a collection of grouches?

It seemed I should have donned a referee shirt and carried a whistle when I dressed that morning for my post of mothering.

Finally my nerves had had enough. I called a family assembly in the living room. What mama-lecture would snap us out of our funk? I needed some heavenly inspiration, so I waited for a moment.

“I just wanted to ask you all a question today. Are you speaking to one another the way you would talk to your best friends? Would you be using these same words if Grandma were sitting here listening?”

Silence filled the room as shoulders shrugged, and eyes darted to the floor. A soft “No” escaped from their lips.

“Then why would you be treating your family, whom you love dearly, with less kindness, and less respect that you would offer to those you want to impress? In this family we will reserve the highest honor for those whom we love the most.”

Wow. That was good, I thought.

Proverbs 16:24 says Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. We should not reserve our pleasantest words just for company! They should be the life flow of a healthy home. We need to use them every day, sweet words that nourish the souls of our family members.

Why is it I sometimes have the same problem as my children? Treating my husband and kids with a familiarity or even harshness I would never use with precious guests.

One word comes to mind: selfishness.

Lord, help me to heed my own wise counsel reflected from Your word today. Help me choose the sweetest, most precious gifts in my life…my own family. Let me be such a remarkable trendsetter of kindness that my kids and even my own husband want to follow my lead. I yield to You, precious, sweet Holy Spirit. I turn from my old selfish ways and trust You to lead me down beautiful, sweet paths. For Your name’s sake Lord, and for Your kingdom.

Let’s take 30 seconds to meditate on this verse: Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Wisdom Wednesday posts are inspired by a verse from the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds to the posting date.

Picture yourself strapped into the driver’s seat of a race car. Its value is $2,000,000. The owner has hired you to complete the 200 laps of the Indianapolis 500 and cross the finish line as the winner. He has promised you a wonderful reward when you finished the course.

All around you the other drivers line up in their highly valued cars. Order, sportsmanship and mutual respect will be expected as each of you presses to the finish line. Continue reading “Conversation on a Collision Course: Wisdom Wednesday” »

This is my anger can*. Anger dumps into it whenever someone irritates me.

When I find the dirty socks dropped in the hall…again.
When nobody put their dishes in the dishwasher…again.
When somebody says a hurtful word to my son…again.

My anger can should have a warning label:  CAUTION—CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE.  EXPLOSION HAZARD!

Continue reading “What Will I Do with the Anger I Feel? Wisdom Wednesday” »